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6. 5. Civic

Galted wrote:Looks like the BBC are backtracking over their wild weather predictions.  The max for Greenwich today has dropped from 40 to 37 without even an apology.  It would never have happened if Boris Johnson were Prime Minister.

He is Prime Minister.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:Looks like the BBC are backtracking over their wild weather predictions.  The max for Greenwich today has dropped from 40 to 37 without even an apology.  It would never have happened if Boris Johnson were Prime Minister.

He is Prime Minister.

You keep telling yourself that, f*cking r*cist Brexiteer.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:Looks like the BBC are backtracking over their wild weather predictions.  The max for Greenwich today has dropped from 40 to 37 without even an apology.  It would never have happened if Boris Johnson were Prime Minister.

He is Prime Minister.

You keep telling yourself that, f*cking r*cist Brexiteer.

How dare you call me a Brexiteer.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:Looks like the BBC are backtracking over their wild weather predictions.  The max for Greenwich today has dropped from 40 to 37 without even an apology.  It would never have happened if Boris Johnson were Prime Minister.

He is Prime Minister.

You keep telling yourself that, f*cking r*cist Brexiteer.

How dare you call me a Brexiteer.

l*l out loud.

You need cancelling, fascist.

Boris would've just done his best, which is good enough for me.

Morning, Galts, may your balls be sweat free today.

rIck_dAgless wrote:Boris would've just done his best, which is good enough for me.

Morning, Galts, may your balls be sweat free today.

Morning, Rick.  Boris tried his damndest, and that's all we should ask for.

My balls are sweat free so far, I am moving exceptionally slowly.

I wish similar for your balls.

Cheers, Galts, thankfully I am man boob free, I would hate to have underboob sweat as well

Yep. I was carrying a bit more upper body flesh during the heatwave in the late 90s when it hit 38/100 and remember having to continually shower throughout the day due to the obscene amount of sweat.

The last post makes me sound a bit like SerialDAVE.

l*l

Important not to over-hydrate, guys. I wish you all a comfortable day in the sweltering heat. Sounds like a good day to walk around the place (if possible) with not much on, as I do on occasion.

My only other advice is to stay off the heavy food. A couple of fruit salads (no bananas) and ice cream / ice blocks throughout the day.

You should have already sealed off any gaps in the house / apartment. If not, you could suffer from the heat lag effect in the late afternoon and well into the night... which makes sleeping more uncomfortable. If you're thinking of a quick w*nk... maybe wait until the early hours of Tuesday morning if possible.

Meanwhile here, it's a comfortable 9 deg C but it feels warmer with the heaters on.

Cheers, PJ.

I have several bottles of Theakstons, a mixture of bottles and cans of Abbot, and a couple of bottles of Krabbie's alcoholic ginger bear.

Might have to restock tomorrow but I think I have enough to see me through the day.

Bought a few boxes of ice lollies and a couple of pear ciders for jr, so hopefully that keeps him quiet.

Galted wrote:Cheers, PJ.

I have several bottles of Theakstons, a mixture of bottles and cans of Abbot, and a couple of bottles of Krabbie's alcoholic ginger bear.

Might have to restock tomorrow but I think I have enough to see me through the day.

Bought a few boxes of ice lollies and a couple of pear ciders for jr, so hopefully that keeps him quiet.

Added a bit more above for you, Galts. Make sure the evil animal has some water. So chuck a couple of ice blocks in the bowl for me.
Is your Chilean tarantula still around? I suppose you've got him/her covered with a non-lavender water spray.

Pal Joey wrote:

Galted wrote:Cheers, PJ.

I have several bottles of Theakstons, a mixture of bottles and cans of Abbot, and a couple of bottles of Krabbie's alcoholic ginger bear.

Might have to restock tomorrow but I think I have enough to see me through the day.

Bought a few boxes of ice lollies and a couple of pear ciders for jr, so hopefully that keeps him quiet.

Added a bit more above for you, Galts. Make sure the evil animal has some water. So chuck a couple of ice blocks in the bowl for me.
Is your Chilean tarantula still around? I suppose you've got him/her covered with a non-lavender water spray.

Thanks again, though the evil one keeps hydrated by drinking my blood.

I would hope you have me confused with Tino re the tarantula, will check the flat just in case.

Galted wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:

Galted wrote:Cheers, PJ.

I have several bottles of Theakstons, a mixture of bottles and cans of Abbot, and a couple of bottles of Krabbie's alcoholic ginger bear.

Might have to restock tomorrow but I think I have enough to see me through the day.

Bought a few boxes of ice lollies and a couple of pear ciders for jr, so hopefully that keeps him quiet.

Added a bit more above for you, Galts. Make sure the evil animal has some water. So chuck a couple of ice blocks in the bowl for me.
Is your Chilean tarantula still around? I suppose you've got him/her covered with a non-lavender water spray.

Thanks again, though the evil one keeps hydrated by drinking my blood.

I would hope you have me confused with Tino re the tarantula, will check the flat just in case.

So he has the tarantula as well as the snakes? Well that's it then. I'm losing it for sure.

I was going ask you who looks after it when you travel but now I know it's completely irrelevant for you. So hopefully I'll remember not to ask you again.

Pal Joey wrote:

Galted wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:

Galted wrote:Cheers, PJ.

I have several bottles of Theakstons, a mixture of bottles and cans of Abbot, and a couple of bottles of Krabbie's alcoholic ginger bear.

Might have to restock tomorrow but I think I have enough to see me through the day.

Bought a few boxes of ice lollies and a couple of pear ciders for jr, so hopefully that keeps him quiet.

Added a bit more above for you, Galts. Make sure the evil animal has some water. So chuck a couple of ice blocks in the bowl for me.
Is your Chilean tarantula still around? I suppose you've got him/her covered with a non-lavender water spray.

Thanks again, though the evil one keeps hydrated by drinking my blood.

I would hope you have me confused with Tino re the tarantula, will check the flat just in case.

So he has the tarantula as well as the snakes? Well that's it then. I'm losing it for sure.

I was going ask you who looks after it when you travel but now I know it's completely irrelevant for you. So hopefully I'll remember not to ask you again.

I have previously related a fascinating anecdote about my brother leaving his baboon spider in the Bibron's gecko tank while he cleaned its enclosure and returning to find a few loose spider legs strewn about.

Perhaps that's what's causing confusion.

Pal Joey wrote:If you're thinking of a quick w*nk... maybe wait until the early hours of Tuesday morning if possible.

Wish I'd read that half an hour ago.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:If you're thinking of a quick w*nk... maybe wait until the early hours of Tuesday morning if possible.

Wish I'd read that half an hour ago.

Better go eat some yoghurt now.

The 2 events I have required trains to attend are both being done over by the strikes... C**ts

rIck_dAgless wrote:The 2 events I have required trains to attend are both being done over by the strikes...  C**ts

You should sue someone. Do you know any lawyers?

None in that industry, If I see if any of their employees are getting married, you can really mess their day up for them, right?

Galted wrote:
I have several bottles of Theakstons, a mixture of bottles and cans of Abbot, and a couple of bottles of Krabbie's* alcoholic ginger bear.

* meant Crabbies, sorry for any confusion

rIck_dAgless wrote:None in that industry, If I see if any of their employees are getting married, you can really mess their day up for them, right?

Not just weddings, riCKo. Funerals, christenings, bar mitzvahs.

I can f*ck them all up, just say the word.

Galted wrote:

Galted wrote:
I have several bottles of Theakstons, a mixture of bottles and cans of Abbot, and a couple of bottles of Krabbie's* alcoholic ginger bear.

* meant Crabbies, sorry for any confusion

What a c*nt.

rIck_dAgless wrote:The 2 events I have required trains to attend are both being done over by the strikes...  C**ts

Power to the people!

JuliusHMarx wrote:

rIck_dAgless wrote:The 2 events I have required trains to attend are both being done over by the strikes...  C**ts

Power to the people!

I agree in principal with the strikes, Jules, I do reserve the right to be annoyed when it personally inconveniences me, it is the British way.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Galted wrote:
I have several bottles of Theakstons, a mixture of bottles and cans of Abbot, and a couple of bottles of Krabbie's* alcoholic ginger bear.

* meant Crabbies, sorry for any confusion

What a c*nt.

Julius would have said 'what a ku'nt'.

Galted wrote:

Galted wrote:
I have several bottles of Theakstons, a mixture of bottles and cans of Abbot, and a couple of bottles of Krabbie's* alcoholic ginger bear.

* meant Crabbies, sorry for any confusion

What a twa't.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Galted wrote:
I have several bottles of Theakstons, a mixture of bottles and cans of Abbot, and a couple of bottles of Krabbie's* alcoholic ginger bear.

* meant Crabbies, sorry for any confusion

What a c*nt.

Julius would have said 'what a ku'nt'.

Yes, he's quite unbeerable when someone makes such an elementary spelling mistake.

Anyway, it's too hot to drink alcoholic ginger bears. They must be pretty angry floating southwards on those small icebergs... due to global warming.
Personally, I'd keep my distance and try not to upset them any more. Especially if they've been drinking.

I see you've got the hottest and driest region, Tino. Around Cambridge. The grass must be crunchy under foot, yeah?

rIck_dAgless wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

rIck_dAgless wrote:The 2 events I have required trains to attend are both being done over by the strikes...  C**ts

Power to the people!

I agree in principal with the strikes, Jules, I do reserve the right to be annoyed when it personally inconveniences me, it is the British way.

Same here. Those barristers are cun'ts.

Pal Joey wrote:

I see you've got the hottest and driest region, Tino. Around Cambridge. The grass must be crunchy under foot, yeah?

If I may be serious for a moment, it is ridiculous, Pee Jay. The grass is basically all a pasty yellow colour. Everywhere. Just bone dry. Green and pleasant land is more like yellow and crunchy land at the moment.

Played cricket on Saturday and it was like (I imagine) playing in Mumbai. The ball was going through the surface almost from the 1st over.

I've been trying to keep the chickens from turning into KFC today. Poor things. The dogs are just flaked out as well. The spider and the snakes don't appear in the slightest bit concerned at the heat. The goldfish seems similarly unflustered.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:

I see you've got the hottest and driest region, Tino. Around Cambridge. The grass must be crunchy under foot, yeah?

If I may be serious for a moment, it is ridiculous, Pee Jay. The grass is basically all a pasty yellow colour. Everywhere. Just bone dry. Green and pleasant land is more like yellow and crunchy land at the moment.

Played cricket on Saturday and it was like (I imagine) playing in Mumbai. The ball was going through the surface almost from the 1st over.

I've been trying to keep the chickens from turning into KFC today. Poor things. The dogs are just flaked out as well. The spider and the snakes don't appear in the slightest bit concerned at the heat. The goldfish seems similarly unflustered.

Tino, I don't like spiders and snakes
But that ain't what it takes
To love you.

Pal Joey wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Galted wrote:
I have several bottles of Theakstons, a mixture of bottles and cans of Abbot, and a couple of bottles of Krabbie's* alcoholic ginger bear.

* meant Crabbies, sorry for any confusion

What a c*nt.

Julius would have said 'what a ku'nt'.

Yes, he's quite unbeerable when someone makes such an elementary spelling mistake.

Anyway, it's too hot to drink alcoholic ginger bears. They must be pretty angry floating southwards on those small icebergs... due to global warming.
Personally, I'd keep my distance and try not to upset them any more. Especially if they've been drinking.

I see you've got the hottest and driest region, Tino. Around Cambridge. The grass must be crunchy under foot, yeah?

FFS!

Moistish fist.

Morning G-Unit.

How was the Krabbie's bear?

Sounds like a premise for a series of children's stories, an angry ginger bear who's not allowed out in the sun.

The first edition could have the Krabbies bear f*cking up Paddington and eating all his marmalade sandwiches.

How are things in the bitter north?

Galted wrote:

How are things in the bitter north?

No idea champ. I'm in the racist leafy home counties.

I assume it is bitter though. Some of my chums were getting increasingly angry over the weather yesterday. Anything above 15 and they get a little edgy so 38 is full on apocalypse for most of them.

I did suggest we move back up north away from any future heatwaves but Mrs Windows just called me c*nt and walked away. She has designs on retiring back in Canada one day but not sure whether those plans involve me or not so I may well end up back in Runcorn.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

How are things in the bitter north?

No idea champ. I'm in the racist leafy home counties.

I assume it is bitter though. Some of my chums were getting increasingly angry over the weather yesterday. Anything above 15 and they get a little edgy so 38 is full on apocalypse for most of them.

I did suggest we move back up north away from any future heatwaves but Mrs Windows just called me c*nt and walked away. She has designs on retiring back in Canada one day but not sure whether those plans involve me or not so I may well end up back in Runcorn.

Are you or are you not north of the Thames?

Galted wrote:

Are you or are you not north of the Thames?

Fair point.

Then yes, it is bitter here.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Are you or are you not north of the Thames?

Fair point.

Then yes, it is bitter here.

Thanks, for clarifying.  I did cross out 'bitter' though in acknowledgement that some of the men of the north may have removed their ties and cardigans to combat the weather.  Hopefully the children will be let home from the mines fifteen minutes early.

I would imagine it's comparatively cool down in the mines.

JuliusHMarx wrote:I would imagine it's comparatively cool down in the mines.

Well, if you think child labour is cool then maybe you need cancelling too.

Galted wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:I would imagine it's comparatively cool down in the mines.

Well, if you think child labour is cool then maybe you need cancelling too.

If Jules survived Operation Yewtree, I doubt you'll be the one to finally bring him down, Galted.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:I would imagine it's comparatively cool down in the mines.

Well, if you think child labour is cool then maybe you need cancelling too.

If Jules survived Operation Yewtree, I doubt you'll be the one to finally bring him down, Galted.

L*l out loud. Maybe scrapping free TV licences for the over-75s will prove to be his downfall.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:I would imagine it's comparatively cool down in the mines.

Well, if you think child labour is cool then maybe you need cancelling too.

If Jules survived Operation Yewtree, I doubt you'll be the one to finally bring him down, Galted.

L*l out loud. Maybe scrapping free TV licences for the over-75s will prove to be his downfall.

He doesn't have a TV. He has a travelling band of Shakespearian actors that produce a stage version of any TV show he wants to watch.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:I would imagine it's comparatively cool down in the mines.

Well, if you think child labour is cool then maybe you need cancelling too.

If Jules survived Operation Yewtree, I doubt you'll be the one to finally bring him down, Galted.

L*l out loud. Maybe scrapping free TV licences for the over-75s will prove to be his downfall.

He doesn't have a TV. He has a travelling band of Shakespearian actors that produce a stage version of any TV show he wants to watch.

And a minstrel to provide the theme music.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:I would imagine it's comparatively cool down in the mines.

Well, if you think child labour is cool then maybe you need cancelling too.

If Jules survived Operation Yewtree, I doubt you'll be the one to finally bring him down, Galted.

L*l out loud. Maybe scrapping free TV licences for the over-75s will prove to be his downfall.

He doesn't have a TV. He has a travelling band of Shakespearian actors that produce a stage version of any TV show he wants to watch.

They do an excellent version of the Babestation channel.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:I would imagine it's comparatively cool down in the mines.

Well, if you think child labour is cool then maybe you need cancelling too.

If Jules survived Operation Yewtree, I doubt you'll be the one to finally bring him down, Galted.

L*l out loud. Maybe scrapping free TV licences for the over-75s will prove to be his downfall.

He doesn't have a TV. He has a travelling band of Shakespearian actors that produce a stage version of any TV show he wants to watch.

And a minstrel to provide the theme music.

Surely BamBam would be the minstrel?

Duty would be the director leading the troop.

I could imagine Tino in drag for every production on the basis of there not being enough actresses about even though he clearly just likes the dresses.

king_carlos wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:I would imagine it's comparatively cool down in the mines.

Well, if you think child labour is cool then maybe you need cancelling too.

If Jules survived Operation Yewtree, I doubt you'll be the one to finally bring him down, Galted.

L*l out loud. Maybe scrapping free TV licences for the over-75s will prove to be his downfall.

He doesn't have a TV. He has a travelling band of Shakespearian actors that produce a stage version of any TV show he wants to watch.

And a minstrel to provide the theme music.

Surely BamBam would be the minstrel?

Duty would be the director leading the troop.

I could imagine Tino in drag for every production on the basis of there not being enough actresses about even though he clearly just likes the dresses.

I do a pretty good job re-enacting Attenborough documentaries with my cat.

Congratulations on reaching the 40 degree mark. That's a great map with all the dark red going up the spine of the country. Hopefully it doesn't get to dark purple and pink anytime soon. Hang in there, chaps! Eventually the 'cool change' will come soon... at around 2-3am I see.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:

I see you've got the hottest and driest region, Tino. Around Cambridge. The grass must be crunchy under foot, yeah?

If I may be serious for a moment, it is ridiculous, Pee Jay. The grass is basically all a pasty yellow colour. Everywhere. Just bone dry. Green and pleasant land is more like yellow and crunchy land at the moment.

Played cricket on Saturday and it was like (I imagine) playing in Mumbai. The ball was going through the surface almost from the 1st over.

I've been trying to keep the chickens from turning into KFC today. Poor things. The dogs are just flaked out as well. The spider and the snakes don't appear in the slightest bit concerned at the heat. The goldfish seems similarly unflustered.

Just keep hosing the chooks down mate. Have the snakes shed any skin yet or are they in a temperature controlled enclosure? Keep an eye out for any swallows or small birds falling out of the sky. Poor little things simply can conk out mid-flight and drop like a rock to the ground. Here there was a sort of mass extinction event in South Aust. Tiny bird carcasses everywhere on some bloke's paddock.

Don't know if you remember but part of my front lawn (it was only a few months old back in 2020) went that silvery-yellow colour and turned brittle. Then it went dark brown/black as if someone had applied a blow torch to it. This was all in the space of about 24 hours. Think it got to 48.4 C (119.1 F) but only for about half an hour or so.

I foolishly then tried to salvage some of it by watering it (early the next morning) but I think I only succeeded in increasing the humidity around the distressed roots which then attracted those pill 'roly-poly' grubs... which love those humid warm conditions. The grass basically just fell apart and died. Had to then replace that section of about 30m2. Now, we've had so much rain (this year already over 2000mm!) the new lawn looks as though it has established itself. I assume the water table has been replenished but always in the back of my mind is what a few hours of intense heat can do.

It's the hours leading up to and just after that really can affect your mind and make you prone to accidents if you happen to be stumbling around outside. I also noticed that my voice didn't travel very far. It's like you're in a sound-proofed room... the sound attenuation just loses energy as soon as it comes out your mouth. It's almost as though time itself can't be bothered any more and also slows down.

I see Badenoch is out with only 59 votes.

Mordaunt 92
Sunak 118
Truss 86

Have a feeling Mordaunt will be next to go and most of her votes (and Badenoch's) will go to Truss who will overcome Sunak in the final two.