Music Section Morning Tea Society

First topic message reminder :

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

alfie wrote:nomenclature

Lovely stuff, alfie. Not a word we see often on here.

Reminds of the time Jeff used 'oeuvre' when describing some j*zz singer.

Although he was being deliberately pompous whereas I suspect yours is accidental pomposity.

F*ck off, Tino, can you not see that I'm already grooming alfie?

Bit sad that everyone's either dead or Nicola Sturgeon. Might have a bit of a scratch to cheer me up.

I'm not dead yet. Although feel it could be imminent.
I'm not sure what I enjoy more, the brave new world of BazBall or how much it irritates a large number of English cricket fans (plenty of them to be found on here). The English sporting public are a peculiarly stupid bunch of people.

Mate is going to watch Aston Villa tomorrow, Galted. His wife is a Villa fan. He is a Citeh fan. He is actually from Manchester but still a b*llend. I shall ask him to hold a sign saying 'Galted, can I have your Hi-Tecs'.

I've only ever known one Citeh supporter. He was a top bloke, knew him when they were in the third tier and Villa were top of the Premier League. Maybe it's the same person.

Galted wrote:I've only ever known one Citeh supporter. He was a top bloke, knew him when they were in the third tier and Villa were top of the Premier League. Maybe it's the same person.

I doubt it. He's a good mate but no-one would ever describe him as a 'top bloke'.

Bit of a d*ckhead really, but he's our d*ckhead.

Most of the people we worked with were from Worcester, which I suspect had a massive c*nt factory in operation at the time. Russell Brand would probably have seemed like a top bloke compared to them.

Can't stay away, I want updates on the batteries. No, I need updates on the batteries.

12 AAAs ready and waiting, 4 AAs ready and waiting. One AAA faulty. Batteries in all the heating controllers, remote controls and some of the toys have been replaced. I would do all of the toys but my screwdrivers have gone missing, which is a problem not even recharged batteries can solve.

Galted wrote:12 AAAs ready and waiting, 4 AAs ready and waiting.  One AAA faulty.  Batteries in all the heating controllers, remote controls and some of the toys have been replaced.  I would do all of the toys but my screwdrivers have gone missing, which is a problem not even recharged batteries can solve.

Maybe ask Galtiva to pop down and pick up some more vodka and orange juice.

It's good to hear your batteries have mostly recharged though. That's a rare slither of light in this unearthly metallic world.

Pal Joey wrote:

Galted wrote:12 AAAs ready and waiting, 4 AAs ready and waiting.  One AAA faulty.  Batteries in all the heating controllers, remote controls and some of the toys have been replaced.  I would do all of the toys but my screwdrivers have gone missing, which is a problem not even recharged batteries can solve.

Maybe ask Galtiva to pop down and pick up some more vodka and orange juice.

It's good to hear your batteries have mostly recharged though. That's a rare slither of light in this unearthly metallic world.

Very good, scope to mention a White Russian as well.  I was worried about inviting ridicule for using the word 'toys' and had no idea I was making myself look like an alcoholic instead, as everyone knows I'm not an alcoholic as I can stop anytime I want.

I see Hugh Jackman's getting involved with British football now along with Will Ferrell. As if we didn't have enough c*nts with Bruno Fernandes and Robbie Savage about.

Galtiva... lol.

Yes, Jackman's ruffled a few feathers here too with his remark about us "inevitably becoming a republic."

Honesty, if I want a proper court jester's opinion on politics I'll ask someone like Tyrion Lannister... who, by the way, would make a great part-owner of a team like Wolves... or Brighton maybe. He could also dress up and double as some sort of mascot.

I'm not Dickie Davies.

Afternoon, all.

Galted wrote: and some of the toys have been replaced.

You left this one lying around.

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2023/feb/20/its-not-a-darning-tool-its-a-very-naughty-toy-roman-dildo-found

Galted wrote:I see Hugh Jackman's getting involved with British football now along with Will Ferrell.  As if we didn't have enough c*nts with Bruno Fernandes and Robbie Savage about.

Don't start.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:I see Hugh Jackman's getting involved with British football now along with Will Ferrell.  As if we didn't have enough c*nts with Bruno Fernandes and Robbie Savage about.

Don't start.

I suspect they're taking advantage of the furore over migrants being put up in hotels to sneak in and worm their way into sh*te football clubs.

rIck_dAgless wrote:I'm not Dickie Davies.

Afternoon, all.

The great Dickie Davies. 

Rightly honoured by Half Man Half Biscuit. They know their British icons with another song in tribute to Fred Titmus.

That's me done here for the week. Got some catching up to do on the cricket board.

I hadn't died. I just went to Derby

lostinwales wrote:I hadn't died. I just went to Derby

Sorry to hear that, LiW. First Wales and now this, thoughts are with you.

Galted wrote:

lostinwales wrote:I hadn't died. I just went to Derby

Sorry to hear that, LiW.  First Wales and now this, thoughts are with you.

It's Ok I made it home in one piece, although the recovery may take a while.

Afternoon, all, Putin is a proper mental f**k is he not.

rIck_dAgless wrote:Afternoon, all, Putin is a proper mental f**k is he not.

I suspect the morning tea society is now on his hit list.

Bring it, the shaky handed baldy bas**rd, he would just get confused by our patter and witty banter.

I was once on the mailing list for a group of Chechen rebels fighting for self-determination from Russia (needed some information from them for my dissertation).  My mates were convinced I was going to get stabbed with a radioactive umbrella.

superflyweight wrote:radioactive umbrella.

B side to Rihanna's famous song.

I got robbed by a pack of Chechens on the underground in St Petersburg. Wonder whatever the c*nts did with my Nectar card.

Galted wrote:I got robbed by a pack of Chechens on the underground in St Petersburg.  Wonder whatever the c*nts did with my Nectar card.

Sex for Nectar.

Do we still fist?
Fist.

I sicond the motion that we should still fist.
Sicond.

Tird

I'm happy to go along with Julius's fisting motion.

Galted wrote:I got robbed by a pack of Chechens on the underground in St Petersburg. Wonder whatever the c*nts did with my Nectar card.

I had a full on Mick Dundee moment in a Moscow nightclub once

I'd had a lot to drink and was blissfully unaware that the 'girl' I was talking to almost certainly had a bigger c*ck than I do. It was only when one of our clients alerted me in fits of laughter that I realised.

For a country that doesn't really like the LGBTQ community, there are plenty of them in Moscow. Or there were back in the 2000's anyway.

For the record, I would have gone home with him/her had my boss not been with me. Smoking hot (my new friend, not my boss. He was, and probably still is, an ugly b*stard).

That post deserves a michaelsing? Of all the sh*t posts on here, that is the one.

Bunch of f*cking bigots.

(Other than Superfly as he has just posted a ball breakingly funny film review. And he shags dwarves).

It was still a few hours from a michaelsing. I was debating whether to describe it as 'marvellous' or 'bloody splendid' and was sidetracked by having to do a bit of work.

It was a good review.

Galted wrote:It was still a few hours from a michaelsing. I was debating whether to describe it as 'marvellous' or 'bloody splendid' and was sidetracked by having to do a bit of work.

I f*cking love you, Galted. I really do.

I totally forgot about that old skool style of Film review, brilliant effort.

Afternoon, all.

Afternoon, Rick. Marvellous post.

Thanks, Galts, you are smashing it yourself on the board today.

(apologies I am on a wanky US based all hands thing and the language seeps in)

Thanks, Rick. I really put a lot of effort into my posts today and am grateful for the positive feedback.

Fist.

I have to be careful now. I have two computers and two keyboards and its very easy to type on the wrong machine

Sicond.

You can rest assured that anything you type on here in error won't be picked up on and used to mock you relentlessly.

Jules is definitely John Motson.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Jules is definitely John Motson.

It's a game of two halves, Tino.

I thought it was all over.

I wonder what they're going to do with his coat.

Make a new sheep out of it?

Or maybe make a coat out of him and keep a sheep warm with it.

That's a pity, wouldn't have minded giving it a try myself, think it would match my brown Rockports. Let me know if you hear anything.

Certainly will, Galted.

At the risk of sounding like that pr*ck super_insecure, we are going to be subjected to endless f*cking montages of his 'best' commentary now. I may stop watching football for a week or so. Plenty of rugby and cricket to keep us entertained.

I suspect so, plus the obligatory onslaught of tedious anecdotes. Thank f*ck for the six nations.