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Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Galted, Villa are f*king massive. Huge. Gargantuan.

Merry Christmas you big c*nt.

You won't win a Pulitzer for filth.  

Merry Christmas to you as well. You wee f*cking radge.

I celebrated the festive period by falling down a hole that Scottish Gas Networks has dug at the end of our drive and failed to cover properly.  If only I knew a decent lawyer.  

Isn't Mrs Superfly a decent lawyer?

Yes - but she can't stop laughing.

JuliusHMarx wrote:I'm not Jesse Kipf, but then neither is he.

Googled this. Pretty funny.

Galted wrote:

guildfordbat wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Who is John Clegg?

It isn't me, that's all I know.

None other than “La Di Da” Gunner Graham. What were you watching in 1974?

Mind you, not all news is bad. I’m mightily heartened by the BBC sacking Jermaine Jenas and that’s before we get to talk about Jamie Smith, eh PJ?

Hopefully they'll sack Balding, Adlington and Foster too.

Firstly, Adlington isn't balding. She had a full head of hair.

Secondly, what don't you like about Foster. I thought he was OK in the Olympics. Especially when the hirsute Adlington was crying all over the place and Balding was struggling to read her notes. Foster was the only one holding it together.

Very handsome man as well.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

guildfordbat wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Who is John Clegg?

It isn't me, that's all I know.

None other than “La Di Da” Gunner Graham. What were you watching in 1974?

Mind you, not all news is bad. I’m mightily heartened by the BBC sacking Jermaine Jenas and that’s before we get to talk about Jamie Smith, eh PJ?

Hopefully they'll sack Balding, Adlington and Foster too.

Firstly, Adlington isn't balding. She had a full head of hair.

Secondly, what don't you like about Foster. I thought he was OK in the Olympics. Especially when the hirsute Adlington was crying all over the place and Balding was struggling to read her notes. Foster was the only one holding it together.

Very handsome man as well.

He is handsome, but looks too much like an IT billionaire to be tolerated. And he had an entire week to tell the two squealing c*nts next to him to shut the f*ck up if they couldn't think of anything intelligent and/or interesting to say and he spurned the chance.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

guildfordbat wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Who is John Clegg?

It isn't me, that's all I know.

None other than “La Di Da” Gunner Graham. What were you watching in 1974?

Mind you, not all news is bad. I’m mightily heartened by the BBC sacking Jermaine Jenas and that’s before we get to talk about Jamie Smith, eh PJ?

Hopefully they'll sack Balding, Adlington and Foster too.

Firstly, Adlington isn't balding. She had a full head of hair.

Secondly, what don't you like about Foster. I thought he was OK in the Olympics. Especially when the hirsute Adlington was crying all over the place and Balding was struggling to read her notes. Foster was the only one holding it together.

Very handsome man as well.

He is handsome, but looks too much like an IT billionaire to be tolerated. And he had an entire week to tell the two squealing c*nts next to him to shut the f*ck up if they couldn't think of anything intelligent and/or interesting to say and he spurned the chance.

OK but surely none of them reach the slimy heights of obnoxiousness scaled by Jenas ....

guildfordbat wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

guildfordbat wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Who is John Clegg?

It isn't me, that's all I know.

None other than “La Di Da” Gunner Graham. What were you watching in 1974?

Mind you, not all news is bad. I’m mightily heartened by the BBC sacking Jermaine Jenas and that’s before we get to talk about Jamie Smith, eh PJ?

Hopefully they'll sack Balding, Adlington and Foster too.

Firstly, Adlington isn't balding. She had a full head of hair.

Secondly, what don't you like about Foster. I thought he was OK in the Olympics. Especially when the hirsute Adlington was crying all over the place and Balding was struggling to read her notes. Foster was the only one holding it together.

Very handsome man as well.

He is handsome, but looks too much like an IT billionaire to be tolerated. And he had an entire week to tell the two squealing c*nts next to him to shut the f*ck up if they couldn't think of anything intelligent and/or interesting to say and he spurned the chance.

OK but surely none of them reach the slimy heights of obnoxiousness scaled by Jenas ....

That's a very Jermaine point.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

guildfordbat wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Who is John Clegg?

It isn't me, that's all I know.

None other than “La Di Da” Gunner Graham. What were you watching in 1974?

Mind you, not all news is bad. I’m mightily heartened by the BBC sacking Jermaine Jenas and that’s before we get to talk about Jamie Smith, eh PJ?

Hopefully they'll sack Balding, Adlington and Foster too.

Firstly, Adlington isn't balding. She had a full head of hair.

Secondly, what don't you like about Foster. I thought he was OK in the Olympics. Especially when the hirsute Adlington was crying all over the place and Balding was struggling to read her notes. Foster was the only one holding it together.

Very handsome man as well.

He is handsome, but looks too much like an IT billionaire to be tolerated. And he had an entire week to tell the two squealing c*nts next to him to shut the f*ck up if they couldn't think of anything intelligent and/or interesting to say and he spurned the chance.

I think we are starting to solve the mystery of where SerialDAVE went.

guildfordbat wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

guildfordbat wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Who is John Clegg?

It isn't me, that's all I know.

None other than “La Di Da” Gunner Graham. What were you watching in 1974?

Mind you, not all news is bad. I’m mightily heartened by the BBC sacking Jermaine Jenas and that’s before we get to talk about Jamie Smith, eh PJ?

Hopefully they'll sack Balding, Adlington and Foster too.

Firstly, Adlington isn't balding. She had a full head of hair.

Secondly, what don't you like about Foster. I thought he was OK in the Olympics. Especially when the hirsute Adlington was crying all over the place and Balding was struggling to read her notes. Foster was the only one holding it together.

Very handsome man as well.

He is handsome, but looks too much like an IT billionaire to be tolerated. And he had an entire week to tell the two squealing c*nts next to him to shut the f*ck up if they couldn't think of anything intelligent and/or interesting to say and he spurned the chance.

OK but surely none of them reach the slimy heights of obnoxiousness scaled by Jenas ....

Haven't seen the full Jenas story but if Guildford despises him it's good enough for me.

I'm not Sven Goran Eriksson.

I've always (genuinely) pictured Jules looking like Sven so RIP in peace, Jules.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I'm not Sven Goran Eriksson.

I've always (genuinely) pictured Jules looking like Sven so RIP in peace, Jules.

I wish I'd been in a hotel and pulled the Faria Alam.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I'm not Sven Goran Eriksson.

I've always (genuinely) pictured Jules looking like Sven so RIP in peace, Jules.

I wish I'd been in a hotel and pulled the Faria Alam.

Acknowledged.

I bet Sven wished he was a top shagger like you.

I wonder if Eriksson will be getting more get well soon wishes from Paul Scholes.

Galted wrote:I wonder if Eriksson will be getting more get well soon wishes from Paul Scholes.

I won't let you be left for dead on this one.

I'm not Sid Eudy, it was just a vicious rumour.

Fist.

Sycho sicond.

Anyone fancy going in on a bucket hat company for 12 months?

rIck_dAgless wrote:Anyone fancy going in on a bucket hat company for 12 months?

Yeah, I'm happy to roll with it.

I thought that some might say yes.

rIck_dAgless wrote:Anyone fancy going in on a bucket hat company for 12 months?

Definitely maybe.

Has anyone been on Tw*tter? Rowley (pronounced Rowley) will be seething. Pretty sure he hated Oasis if I'm remembering that accurately.

Saw Pete Doherty the other day, Tino, supporting Shed Seven, thought of you.

rIck_dAgless wrote:Saw Pete Doherty the other day, Tino, supporting Shed Seven, thought of you.

Nice one. If you see him again, tell him he owes me a refund for the shambolic performance he put on last time I saw him. Although the one before that was f*cking ace.

Shed Seven. Still plugging away all these years later. Love to see it.

He smashed it when I saw him, but I am due again in October, so I will let him know.

Please do.

Fist.

What's up notches?

Not much, Peej. Pretty sure it's going to get worse before it gets better.

JuliusHMarx wrote:Not much, Peej. Pretty sure it's going to get worse before it gets better.

Yes, this thread is a microcosm of our wider societies. Calculated and crafty madness masquerading as legitimate razor-sharp banter.

Not you of course. And not rIcK, Tino, Galted, Super, LiW (when he's here), alfie and guildfordbat. Or even Duty.

It's those unseen members lurking silently in the virtual shadows that we really have to worry about. Not those in plain sight; like us.

Thought I'd save this post for a palindrome.

There was some breaking news on the weekend. The tawny frogmouth (often mistaken for an owl, night jar, mopoke or bookbook) has reappeared after an absence of almost two years.

It used to sit in a fork of a large spotted gum tree all day. Very hard to spot... looks very much like the knotted bark on the tree itself. Then it suddenly disappeared, which caused a lot of worry and stress.

Then, on the weekend, it was spotted on another tree. About 5-6 m away right in front of me. Tried to take a photo but it simply didn't work... just couldn't see the thing in the viewfinder! I only noticed it when it suddenly moved and ruffled its feathers. Probably saying "Hi... I'm here". It has an almost arrogant yet comical face.

Like a 17th C assizes court judge with its head at a proud angle... before announcing your sentence... for transportation.

Family of Four:

Don't know about you guys but I find it pretty sort of funny. I don't think it can kill you, Galted, but it can appear rather stern looking at times.

Synchronized palindromes.

Pal Joey wrote:Thought I'd save this post for a palindrome.

There was some breaking news on the weekend. The tawny frogmouth (often mistaken for an owl, night jar, mopoke or bookbook) has reappeared after an absence of almost two years.

It used to sit in a fork of a large spotted gum tree all day. Very hard to spot... looks very much like the knotted bark on the tree itself. Then it suddenly disappeared, which caused a lot of worry and stress.

Then, on the weekend, it was spotted on another tree. About 5-6 m away right in front of me. Tried to take a photo but it simply didn't work... just couldn't see the thing in the viewfinder! I only noticed it when it suddenly moved and ruffled its feathers. Probably saying "Hi... I'm here". It has an almost arrogant yet comical face.

Like a 17th C assizes court judge with its head at a proud angle... before announcing your sentence... for transportation.

Family of Four:

Don't know about you guys but I find it pretty sort of funny. I don't think it can kill you, Galted, but it can appear rather stern looking at times.

Pretty fearsome looking, would be surprised if they couldn't kill you.

Galted - do you hear that ominous thundering of hooves? That's the mighty Glasgow Celtic on their way to Villa Park to lay waste to your first Champions League campaign.

superflyweight wrote:Galted - do you hear that ominous thundering of hooves?  That's the mighty Glasgow Celtic on their way to Villa Park to lay waste to your first Champions League campaign.

Have they still not invented cars in Scotland?

Had a Tawny Frogmouth family up a tree in the local abandoned golf course ... used to gawk at on walks passing by - but then council started a serious development (actually a very good re-wilding thing of which I approve : but did involve clearing a bit of bush initially ) Said TFs departed , clearly not liking the bulldozer noise.

Perhaps they caught the train to NSW ...

superflyweight wrote:Galted - do you hear that ominous thundering of hooves?  That's the mighty Glasgow Celtic on their way to Villa Park to lay waste to your first Champions League campaign.

They are just happy to be able to take some fans to an away game to a ground with a capacity of over a 1000.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:Galted - do you hear that ominous thundering of hooves?  That's the mighty Glasgow Celtic on their way to Villa Park to lay waste to your first Champions League campaign.

Have they still not invented cars in Scotland?

Yes, but we have to power them with our own feet like Fred Flintstone.

superflyweight wrote:Galted - do you hear that ominous thundering of hooves?  That's the mighty Glasgow Celtic on their way to Villa Park to lay waste to your first Champions League campaign.

That was just the draw I was hoping for and hoping against at the same time.  Hibs was a big enough game last season but I think Starmer will spontaneously ejaculate and sh*t himself at the same time with this bit of unrest.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:Galted - do you hear that ominous thundering of hooves?  That's the mighty Glasgow Celtic on their way to Villa Park to lay waste to your first Champions League campaign.

Have they still not invented cars in Scotland?

L*l out loud.

Galted wrote:

superflyweight wrote:Galted - do you hear that ominous thundering of hooves?  That's the mighty Glasgow Celtic on their way to Villa Park to lay waste to your first Champions League campaign.

That was just the draw I was hoping for and hoping against at the same time.  Hibs was a big enough game last season but I think Starmer will spontaneously ejaculate and sh*t himself at the same time with this bit of unrest.

Ejacushit Or sh*tulate?

Fairly certain I did that a few times back in the 90s.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

superflyweight wrote:Galted - do you hear that ominous thundering of hooves?  That's the mighty Glasgow Celtic on their way to Villa Park to lay waste to your first Champions League campaign.

That was just the draw I was hoping for and hoping against at the same time.  Hibs was a big enough game last season but I think Starmer will spontaneously ejaculate and sh*t himself at the same time with this bit of unrest.

Ejacushit Or sh*tulate?

Fairly certain I did that a few times back in the 90s.

Spaffecate.

Unmichaelsing of Galted. We can't leave the word 'spaffecate' there for too long.

Did anyone see the Celtic v Rangers game? Can't believe how many fans they get up there for non-league football.

Didn't see it. I rarely bother watching Celtic games unless there's some element of jeopardy.

superflyweight wrote:Didn't see it.  I rarely bother watching Celtic games unless there's some element of jeopardy.  

Well, that didn't go as well as I'd hoped.

I'll have to revert back to trolling Galted over Villa's sh*t goalkeeper.

There must be a Man U fan to pile in on.

Pretty sure Rowley (pronounced Rowley) was a closet Utd fan.

Decent result for your boys, RicK.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Pretty sure Rowley (pronounced Rowley) was a closet Utd fan.

Decent result for your boys, RicK.

We were s**te to be honest, but Big Ang can't seem to get past his style of play, and the fact that it leaves you open to quick counter attacking teams like us sometimes.

But I will take it.

How's the missionary work going in The South?

I've started following the Rangers women's team after seeing they won 10-0 away over the weekend, turns out that's not even their biggest win of the season. So far they've scored 43 goals without reply in 5 games, not quite Villa levels of dominance but worth attention if you're as easily aroused by stats as I am.

rIck_dAgless wrote:

How's the missionary work going in The South?

Thankless task, RIck.

I've tried introducing the concept of cooking everything in a pot and putting 'the' in front of the supermarkets but it isn't catching on.

Plus they look at me as if I'm about to assault them. Which isn't always the case.

I feel you, and don't get me started on introducing decent gravy and putting a head on beer.

rIck_dAgless wrote:I feel you, and don't get me started on introducing decent gravy and putting a head on beer.

Don't know wtf the f*ck you're on about, I had a delicious plant-based gravy with my plant balls at t'IKEA just yesterday.

I'm sure you did.

Falafel fist.

Thank G*d for us, riCK. We are doing all the heavy lifting on this thread these days.

2 x Dairylea and marmite bagels. Bagels procured from the Tesco.

Beef hula hoops.

7.678/10

No lunch for me, stuck in a windy playground enduring the final day of the school holidays.