Random Factor... Like A Tractor

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Random factor, like a tractor...
by luckless_pedestrian on Sat 28 May 2011, 5:06 pm

Hello. Following its roaring success on the old 606 (winner of six Luckies*) I thought I'd provide a space on 606v2 for you to post any irrelevant little things you fancy sharing.

I'll start: I've always had trouble with the line 'Love grows where my Rosemary goes.' If they'd chosen another name like Anne or Susan there'd be no problem, but rosemary's a herb so it could be 'Love goes where my rosemary grows.'

Eerie - a bit like an ear.

Zulu - a WC at an animal park.

Tw@t On A Hot Tin Roof.

Sizzle

Q. Why did Lieutenant O'Hura have dark hair in Star Trek?
A. Because William Shatner.

Q. Why did Elizabeth Arden?

A. Because Max Factor.

Q why are bricks red?

A wouldn't you be embarrased to be laid in public? Actually some bricks are yellow. Cowards.

Ed is dead.

Dead Ed?

Aye, Dead Ed. Dead.

Dead Az Ed

Ed's dead, on the head.

And Ed's brother Fred, well Fred's on the meds.

but Ed's sister Wendy is fit and well... actually very fit.

Ed's sister Wendy lives over in Hendy.

You diss Ed. You diss de Ed in your souls, is the Truth.

For inner-shame.

Ah, but Ned hated Ed more than Fred ever ever didn't.

Fred is not to be spoken about in this context. He lost the head. Did Fred.

But wasn't Nancy fancy?

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

Cruise control buster - a driver who speeds up to overtake you on a motorway only to slow down when he's in front of you Aaarrgh!

Middle lane hoggers - people who stick to the middle lane of a three lane motorway oblivious to anybody else Aarrrggh!

Undertakers or weavers - seek to gain an a miniscule advantage by slipping up the inside a complete pain on the arse



Aaarrrgh!

the long and dead-straight road... that leads to your back door...

while my ulcers gently weep

tell me who-o-o-o am I... without ewe...

My bleat lord...

All Good Things Must Pasture

Something in the way she moos...

As the stars that shall be bright when we are dust,
Moving in marches upon the heavenly plain.
As the stars that are starry
In the time of our darkness
To the end,
To the end they remain.

Last orders half past ten.

All aboard the story train, Child Catcher Dan!

!!!!!!

How the smeg (Thank you Red Dwarf ) have I only just found this thread?!?!

Everyone had best go and put some pants on because I am about to start boring them off you

I'll start with an easy couple about eyes.

A goat's pupils are horizontal and rectangular!

A donkey's eyes are placed in it's head so it can see all four of it's feet at the same time!

He aaw... he aaw... eee always says that.

That's a very Haloumi-nating fact about goats.

That's a very highbrow comment Sub, better than the usual baaaaad jokes on this thread.

Thanks. Glad I didnt make an ass of myself.

Give it time. There'll be plenty of opportunities for horse play.

...and no doubt some monkey business too.

OK, now where did I leave that burning cigar?

Maybe u left it on that Night at the Opera.

Or would that be too far from the Marxs?

Why, I'd horse whip you if I had a horse...

Beast of Burdens - horse used to deliver building materials.

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

Ho ho ........ Ho!

Ah but with a video camera on everybody's mobile phone, present giving tours are not the same as they were even five years ago. Santa Tindall's exploits would be in the Internet within seconds.

Sanity Clause! Sanity Clause! You cant fool me, there is no Sanity Clause!

Why Santa Claus, sounds as if they were trying to scare kids with their 'claws'. Santa Mits. That would have been much better.

Santa kid gloves?

Santa Dove Men Care Internationals.

Picture yourself in a boat on a river,
With tangerine trees and marmalade skies.
Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly,
A girl with kaleidoscope eyes.

Cellophane flowers of yellow and green,
Towering over your head.
Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes,
And she's gone.


Oi Lennon, you put acid in de tae again didn't ya, ya bollix ya?

I'm just mad about saffron,
Put it in all my food, even sprinkle it on me corn flakes.

Two of my fave lyrics from when I was knee high to a lady with a short skirt and frilly, polka-dot knickers admittedly I was 14 and had to go down on all fours to get to that level but still....happy days!

1) Oh Dracula comes from Transylvania
Stevie nicks books about kleptomania
Johnny looked out of his bedroom window
And shouted to his mum “Fred Titmus!”

2) And if 8 out of 10 cats all prefer Whiskas,
Do the other two prefer Lesley Judd?