The Culture Cup round 6

First topic message reminder :

seanmichaels wrote:

Rowley wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

Rowley wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:I think I'll upset Jeff now and say that Blackberry Way is a better song than Waterloo Sunset.

Why would the fact you're a moron upset me?

As an aside though another Move song, Flowers in the Rain was the first song ever played on Radio One.

That could and should have been posted on me remarkably unpopular Music anecdotes thread....

Sean, if the thread had been called useless music trivia it almost certainly would have been. I have any number of such facts I could amaze you good people with.

Hit me.

Happily, the first Spice Girls Single not to go to Number 1 was Stop, it was kept off top spot by Run DMC vs Jason Nevins - It's Like That.

rick_dagless wrote:Not a spider fan, and I prefer my erections to be pain free as much as possible.

Read that back to yourself.....

rick_dagless wrote:Not a spider fan, and I prefer my erections to be pain free as much as possible.

Yeah, but when you get to Julius or Jeff's age and getting it up constitutes a few days build up, you will be thankful for any erection, painful or not.

Fair point well made Tino...

And hey, it may float their boat too, though I have a horrible webby image

It's not a problem for me - I was born under a wandering spider.

This has to be the nastiest barstard out there. Hide in your shoes apparently.

These ones follow in your shadow

Are they real or an internet thingy? Fecking horrible

What the bejesus is that, Rick?

Stop letting Tina steer the conversation back to insects. Discussing the infrequency of mine and Julius' erections had far more potential as a topic.

superflyweight wrote:What the bejesus is that, Rick?

Camel Spider super,

They numb your leg whilst chewing on it I believe, and try and stay out of sunlight by lurking behind you in your shadow.

rick_dagless wrote:

superflyweight wrote:What the bejesus is that, Rick?

Camel Spider super,

They numb your leg whilst chewing on it I believe, and try and stay out of sunlight by lurking behind you in your shadow.

That's nice of them.

They have great bedside manners super, they leave you taxi money afterwards as well

rick_dagless wrote:

superflyweight wrote:What the bejesus is that, Rick?

Camel Spider super,

They numb your leg whilst chewing on it I believe, and try and stay out of sunlight by lurking behind you in your shadow.

Stalkerish w@nkers.

Large, tan, hairy, and ferocious-looking, the camel spider is the stuff of legend — urban legend, that is. While these creatures are undoubtedly large, they are by no means half the size of a human and in the habit of dining on camel stomachs and sleeping soldiers.

The camel spider (also called sun spider) is not a spider. It belongs to the class Arachnida, but while all spiders are arachnids, not all arachnids are spiders. Another common name is wind scorpion, but it’s not a scorpion, either. The camel spider is of the Solifugae order, which is Latin for “those who flee from the sun.” Solifugae live in dry, desert climates, have powerful fangs, and a segmented abdomen.

Appearance & habits
Though camel spiders appear to have ten legs, they actually have eight. The two extra leg-like appendages are sensory organs. Camel spiders can reach up to six inches (15 cm) in length and weigh about two ounces (56 grams). They have powerful jaws, which they use to catch prey. Their jaws can be up to ⅓ of their body length.

While most commonly found in Middle Eastern deserts, camel spiders also live in the Southwestern United States and Mexico. Camel spiders are primarily nocturnal and flee from the sun.

Camel spiders are carnivores. They eat other bugs, lizards, small birds and rodents.

Despite their reputation and frightening appearance, they are of negligible threat to humans.

Camel spiders are not venomous. Their jaws are their primary weapon. After seizing a victim, they turn it to pulp by chopping or sawing the bodies with their jaws. According to National Geographic, camel spiders, “utilize digestive fluids to liquefy their victims' flesh, making it easy to suck the remains into their stomachs.”

Compared to other arachnids, camel spiders are speedy. They can run up to 10 miles per hour. Unlike spiders, camel spiders breathe with a trachea, which allows for fast oxygen intake and helps them move quickly.

Camel spider myths
The camel spider first gained notoriety in the West during the Gulf War in the early 1990s. Their fame only grew when the United States invaded Iraq in 2003. Then, they became an Internet sensation. Forced-perspective photographs made the spiders look as big as a human leg, and soldiers brought stories of man-eating spiders to their home countries.

Though the camel spider became infamous in the West relatively recently, it has long been the stuff of legend in the Middle East. Some common myths about it are:

Camel spiders run after humans: Camel spiders don’t want you; they want your shade. When a human runs, the camel spider will chase the shadow. If a human stands still, the camel spider will, too, enjoying the cool. Though camel spiders seek to avoid the sun during the day, they are attracted to light at night, and will run toward it.

Camel spiders scream: Some species of Solifugae may hiss, but the majority make no sound.

While under a camel, they leap into the air and disembowel it, eating its stomach: While untrue, this old myth probably gave the camel spider its name. Camel spiders may stand under camels for the shade.

Camel spiders eat or chew on people while they sleep. Their venom numbs the area so people can’t feel the bites: Camel spiders are not venomous, and though their bites are painful, they are not deadly to humans.

Camel spiders can run up to 30 miles per hour and jump up to three feet high: The fastest camel spider clocks in about 10 miles per hour. They don’t do any significant jumping.

Glad you have cleared a couple up there super, though I am gald I didn't venture into to much hyperbole to drive my point accross

seanmichaels wrote:This has to be the nastiest barstard out there. Hide in your shoes apparently.

Funnel webs. They truly are the Begbie of the spider world. F*cking mental cases they are. A wandering spider is like Tommy. Could do a funnel web in a 'square go' but the funnel web is likely to pull out 8 knifes and slash the wandering spider right in the face.

I was going to answer the urban myths about camel spiders but you've done an excellent job seany. Well done.

Can cutting & pasting ever truly be an 'excellent job'?

JuliusHMarx wrote:Can cutting & pasting ever truly be an 'excellent job'?

Probably not in your pompous world.

JuliusHMarx wrote:Can cutting & pasting ever truly be an 'excellent job'?

Not when it is about f'ing insects.

Rowley wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:Can cutting & pasting ever truly be an 'excellent job'?

Not when it is about f'ing insects.

Priapism, Jeff, priapism.

Think of the benefits.

Mind the windows Tino wrote:Funnel webs. They truly are the Begbie of the spider world. F*cking mental cases they are. A wandering spider is like Tommy. Could do a funnel web in a 'square go' but the funnel web is likely to pull out 8 knifes and slash the wandering spider right in the face.

Does that mean a Hobo Spider is like the Heroin from the film as its bite kills the cells around the injection?

They say we need spiders otherwise there would be an epidemic of flies. Why not just kill flies and spiders?

I knew an old lady who swallowed a fly.

rick_dagless wrote:

Mind the windows Tino wrote:Funnel webs. They truly are the Begbie of the spider world. F*cking mental cases they are. A wandering spider is like Tommy. Could do a funnel web in a 'square go' but the funnel web is likely to pull out 8 knifes and slash the wandering spider right in the face.

Does that mean a Hobo Spider is like the Heroin from the film as its bite kills the cells around the injection?

They are more like Spud. Dangerous if you step on one but pretty easy to outwit.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

Mind the windows Tino wrote:Funnel webs. They truly are the Begbie of the spider world. F*cking mental cases they are. A wandering spider is like Tommy. Could do a funnel web in a 'square go' but the funnel web is likely to pull out 8 knifes and slash the wandering spider right in the face.

Does that mean a Hobo Spider is like the Heroin from the film as its bite kills the cells around the injection?

They are more like Spud.  Dangerous if you step on one but pretty easy to outwit.  

That sounds more like Galted.

seanmichaels wrote:They say we need spiders otherwise there would be an epidemic of flies. Why not just kill flies and spiders?

They have been around for millions of years. I am pretty sure they would survive a human led attempt at genocide. We ain't clever enough.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

That sounds more like Galted.

Where is Galted?

Mind the windows Tino wrote:Where is Galted?

Hiding in a shoe?

rick_dagless wrote:

Mind the windows Tino wrote:Where is Galted?

Hiding in a shoe?

A Hi-Tec shoe.

I've just had a horrible thought. Galted might be too busy at work to post. Worse still, what if......he's in a meeting?   

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:They say we need spiders otherwise there would be an epidemic of flies. Why not just kill flies and spiders?

They have been around for millions of years.  I am pretty sure they would survive a human led attempt at genocide.  We ain't clever enough.

That's what they said about Pandas.

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:They say we need spiders otherwise there would be an epidemic of flies. Why not just kill flies and spiders?

They have been around for millions of years.  I am pretty sure they would survive a human led attempt at genocide.  We ain't clever enough.

That's what they said about Pandas.

Who said that?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:They say we need spiders otherwise there would be an epidemic of flies. Why not just kill flies and spiders?

They have been around for millions of years.  I am pretty sure they would survive a human led attempt at genocide.  We ain't clever enough.

That's what they said about Pandas.

Who said that?

Dodo birds used to.

JuliusHMarx wrote:I've just had a horrible thought. Galted might be too busy at work to post. Worse still, what if......he's in a meeting?   

Didn't he say he had to stop off at Tottenham Court Road to buy some Creme Parisiennes?

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:They say we need spiders otherwise there would be an epidemic of flies. Why not just kill flies and spiders?

They have been around for millions of years.  I am pretty sure they would survive a human led attempt at genocide.  We ain't clever enough.

That's what they said about Pandas.

Who said that?

Dodo birds used to.

Quite right Julius. Windows thinks he has a monopoly on all things nature.

JuliusHMarx wrote:I've just had a horrible thought. Galted might be too busy at work to post. Worse still, what if......he's in a meeting?   

Do secretaries have meetings?

seanmichaels wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:They say we need spiders otherwise there would be an epidemic of flies. Why not just kill flies and spiders?

They have been around for millions of years.  I am pretty sure they would survive a human led attempt at genocide.  We ain't clever enough.

That's what they said about Pandas.

Who said that?

Dodo birds used to.

Quite right Julius. Windows thinks he has a monopoly on all things nature.

There are a few more spiders and flies in the world than pandas.

We're clever enough to kill them, but we lack the motivation. If they were more valuable dead, they'd be dead.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:I've just had a horrible thought. Galted might be too busy at work to post. Worse still, what if......he's in a meeting?   

Do secretaries have meetings?

They probably take the minutes in them.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:I've just had a horrible thought. Galted might be too busy at work to post. Worse still, what if......he's in a meeting?   

Do secretaries have meetings?

Good point. He might be busy cutting & pasting. Doing an excellent job no doubt.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:They say we need spiders otherwise there would be an epidemic of flies. Why not just kill flies and spiders?

They have been around for millions of years.  I am pretty sure they would survive a human led attempt at genocide.  We ain't clever enough.

That's what they said about Pandas.

Who said that?

Dodo birds used to.

Quite right Julius. Windows thinks he has a monopoly on all things nature.

There are a few more spiders and flies in the world than pandas.  

Correct. The spiders and flies should learn from this and not make the same mistakes as the Pandas did.

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:They say we need spiders otherwise there would be an epidemic of flies. Why not just kill flies and spiders?

They have been around for millions of years.  I am pretty sure they would survive a human led attempt at genocide.  We ain't clever enough.

That's what they said about Pandas.

Who said that?

Dodo birds used to.

Quite right Julius. Windows thinks he has a monopoly on all things nature.

There are a few more spiders and flies in the world than pandas.  

Correct. The spiders and flies should learn from this and not make the same mistakes as the Pandas did.

What - they shouldn't refuse to have sex? so theres more flies and spiders? angling for a war then. Also tino has the monopoly on nature because...his son is the nature boy ric flair

whoooo

Insects or WRASSLIN?

Jeff?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Insects or WRASSLIN?

Jeff?

Wrasslin of course tino - why do you think Rowley and julius have such infrequent erections? Steroid abuse.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Insects or WRASSLIN?

Jeff?

Almost an impossible choice Tina. However gun to the head it has to be insects. Whilst it is mind numbingly dull it is at least a conversation for adults. Nobody above the age of 12 should show even the slightest interest in wrestling.

Rowley wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Insects or WRASSLIN?

Jeff?

However gun to the head it has to be insects.

That has made my day. I am a little too happy at that admission. Thanks Jeff.

I agree. Insects are marginally more interesting. You can get a magnifying glass out to look at them. Especially on a nice summer's day, with the sun beating down.

I am not going to let you take me down from the high I am currently enjoying, Julius.

I really want to dislike you, but then you say something that makes me laugh and I have to reassess.

Would it help to know that when I play tennis I will remove any ladybirds that I spot on the court, before commencing play?