The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

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Hajduk

Dolphin Ziggler wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Dolphin Ziggler wrote:That should be "He."

As you wish...
Which is exactly what He. deserves.

You know fully well that a full stop goes inside the speech marks, young old man.

And to think, that ruddy Dave just gave me a dressing down over my tone! The cheek!

I know fully well when the full stop goes inside the speech marks...and when it doesn't.

I'm not sure we are not both correct.

Not sure what makes you think I'm posh Tino, I was slumming it at The RAC Club in Epsom for lunch. Crab with avocado sorbet, beef medallions with mustard mash and creme brulee in case you were wondering.

Also you'll accept a bloke that dyes his hair and a school teacher with a wrestlers username (I looked it up, no way I know that sh!t) but despite liking me you accuse me of being an interloper. Fack you Rowley Browning, fack you very much.

I'll have it known I objected vehemently to raf's membership but am nothing if not a believer in the democratic process. He got in, I accepted.

As for sean, I have been married, as such I don't have sex, I have it that infrequently I can't even remember enough to make up stories. Sean makes them up for me.

I like you hibbz, you're funny and clearly raise the intellect on to at borderline average, but at your current rate of about three posts a year, you're an interloper.

Christ seanmichaels is a wrestler as well? I meant the dolphin, though I'd better be careful what I say about him as a couple of clicks and he'll have me out.

I'm getting quite a fun reputation around here! I'm pretty sure Rowley's length of...service means he'd just click you back into the fold.

Dolphin Ziggler wrote:I'm getting quite a fun reputation around here! I'm pretty sure Rowley's length of...service means he'd just click you back into the fold.

Yes but his cry for help in highlighting his lack of sex means that fold might be one of the wrinkles on his c*ck

Hibbz wrote: Rowley Browning, fack you very much.

Further proof that it is Rowley (as in row) rather than Rowley (as in row).

Morning each.

Morning Union, how is life with the sproglet going?

The highlights were a holiday thing. Sean's sex stories are clearly over compensation for a chequered past. Also, I'm a polyglot, so my cultural contributions cannot be overstated.

Morning Cane, Ricko.

Morning Raf, no deaths on the road today?

About 100 everyday on average, but luckily, none that I've seen. My girlfriend told me to see someone about yesterday's accident, though. Most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. I'm nothing if not desensitised to senseless deaths

Hibbz wrote:Not sure what makes you think I'm posh Tino, I was slumming it at The RAC Club in Epsom for lunch. Crab with avocado sorbet, beef medallions with mustard mash and creme brulee in case you were wondering.

Always had Epsom down as a posh place but I have never experienced filth like I have when playing them. Definitelya traveller element about them.

Did a tour of Sarf London last night, Wandsworth to buy a cricket bat then down to the Royal Marsden at Sutton. London drivers are bigger w@nkers than London escalator people.

Rowley wrote:I'll have it known I objected vehemently to raf's membership but am nothing if not a believer in the democratic process. He got in, I accepted.

I like you hibbz, you're funny and clearly raise the intellect on to at borderline average, but at your current rate of about three posts a year, you're an interloper.

Raf's an associate member, not a full member. He got close but started to wind me up again about how achingly fantastic he is so I haven't ratified his application.

Dolphin is welcome round these parts. He was an original member of the old tournament and also came up with 'R*pe Me' by Nirvana as a song with an emotional response in the title which I thought was jolly well thought out. The last time we talked, he also threatened to "bum me without kissing me goodnight". Which I rather enjoyed. The threat of it, not the actual bumming. Dolphin has never bummed me. Or kissed me goodnight.

I also like Hibbz as well. There are quite a few members I would willingly sacrifice and replace with him. But you're right, Rowley (pronounced Rowley), he just doesn't post enough. Lazy bastard.

Morning Tino, agree with the sentiments (though not the bumming bit)

rick_dagless wrote:Morning Tino, agree with the sentiments (though not the bumming bit)

Glad to hear it RiCK. Us north westerners have to stick together, but within certain physical limits. There is a very good chance we have already been in the same room as each other (clear contravention of cup rules), a slightly smaller chance we have had the same girl (never thought about it, but this must also be a contravention of the rules?) so bumming must never take place between us.

Tino wrote:Glad to hear it RiCK. Us north westerners have to stick together, but within certain physical limits. There is a very good chance we have already been in the same room as each other (clear contravention of cup rules), a slightly smaller chance we have had the same girl (never thought about it, but this must also be a contravention of the rules?) so bumming must never take place between us.

Almost certainly, though as the cup laws are by precedent rather than constitution, the initial act of being in the same room did not breach rules, now they have been set however, the buggery, casual or not, would be in clear breach.

Probably need some kind of cup manifesto if we are taking new pledges however.

Bugger Off Tiña.

I only brag about the things I have consciously sought to improve, like my teeth, or hair. Everything else is a gift from the Almighty/Allah/Darwin. I am but a artwork in the hands of the creator. Artworks don't take credit for being artworks. They just highlight the Genius of the Creator.

Also. I'm a polyglot who creates timepieces and is well versed in African history, genetics and Judaism. I am Cultural!

Have reached the stage of the year when it's too hot for the Wolfskin but too cold for the stripy sweater so I've compromised by getting the Gore-Tex out. Was most comfortable when walking and using public transport this morning - it truly is the jacket for most non-extreme weather types. I'm in such a buoyant mood that I'm going to jokingly threaten to bum the angry Kiwi without kissing him goodnight. I won't credit Dolphin for the phrase.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:Morning Tino, agree with the sentiments (though not the bumming bit)

Glad to hear it RiCK. Us north westerners have to stick together, but within certain physical limits. There is a very good chance we have already been in the same room as each other (clear contravention of cup rules), a slightly smaller chance we have had the same girl (never thought about it, but this must also be a contravention of the rules?) so bumming must never take place between us.

You don't have to be in the same room as someone to bum them, you could do it in a park or on a towpath or outside the Costcutter or under a tree.

Morning bummers...got a killer headache this morning. Thought I'd have a medicinal toddy before bed and was a touch heavy with pouring hand. Couldn't be arsed pouring it back into the bottle so downed it. Knew they was a problem when my usually sufficient "down in one" motion took three times as long.

Oh well, onwards and downwards....

kingraf wrote:Bugger Off Tiña.

I only brag about the things I have consciously  sought to improve, like my teeth, or hair. Everything else is a gift from the Almighty/Allah/Darwin. I am but a artwork in the hands of the creator. Artworks don't take credit for being artworks. They just highlight the Genius of the Creator.

Also. I'm a polyglot who creates timepieces and is well versed in African history, genetics and Judaism. I am Cultural!

an artwork.

and am well versed

I feel your pain Galted, went to watch the nephew's football team last night, obviously the weather had turned too much to make a polo shirt sufficient, but my extraordinarily warm winter coat would have been excessive. Something of a quandary. Fortunately I have an older winter coat with a removable liner. Removed the liner and wore the lighter outer of it, just about sufficient warmth.

Glad to know Tina has still not agreed to Raf's full membership, his lack of shame over the action netball affair still sticks in my craw.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:Morning Tino, agree with the sentiments (though not the bumming bit)

Glad to hear it RiCK.  Us north westerners have to stick together, but within certain physical limits.  There is a very good chance we have already been in the same room as each other (clear contravention of cup rules), a slightly smaller chance we have had the same girl (never thought about it, but this must also be a contravention of the rules?) so bumming must never take place between us.

You don't have to be in the same room as someone to bum them, you could do it in a park or on a towpath or outside the Costcutter or under a tree.

Exactly how much thought are you putting into this, Galted? I only ask because I believe this is Sean's area of expertise and wouldn't want an unholy row (pronounced "row" as in "row" not "row" as in "row") to develop over such matters.

It's row as in row the boat, it is my fictional name and as such is and will remain my decision.

I once did a bird on a grass verge of an A-road. Al fresco nobbing is overrated.

DAVE wrote:an unholy row

Nowt unholy about rowing (as in "row" not "row) about bumming DAVE, in fact many holy people row about it all the time, it is kind of a mainstay of holiness in general to be honest.

Clearly Row. Not row. Row as in wow, not row as in Row your boat

Rowley wrote:It's row as in row the boat, it is my fictional name and as such is and will remain my decision.

No it isn't.  It's row as in

Danny Dyer wrote: you wanna facking row with me you slag

Rowley.  Pronounced Rowley.  It really is quite clear.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Rowley wrote:It's row as in row the boat, it is my fictional name and as such is and will remain my decision.

No it isn't.  It's row as in

Danny Dyer wrote: you wanna facking row with me you slag

Rowley.  Pronounced Rowley.  It really is quite clear.

However I look, it's clear to see
That I love you more than Jeff Rowley

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Rowley wrote:It's row as in row the boat, it is my fictional name and as such is and will remain my decision.

No it isn't.  It's row as in

Danny Dyer wrote: you wanna facking row with me you slag

Rowley.  Pronounced Rowley.  It really is quite clear.

However I look, it's clear to see
That I love you more than Jeff Rowley

You're only behind my kids on my love list, Andrés.

rick_dagless wrote:

DAVE wrote:an unholy row

Nowt unholy about rowing (as in "row" not "row) about bumming DAVE, in fact many holy people row about it all the time, it is kind of a mainstay of holiness in general to be honest.

That's why I said an unholy row (pronounced "row" as in "row" not "row" as in row" ...glad we cleared that up...where was I, oh yeah row as in...oh FFS). I know full well the opinions of the holy brigade on bumming (although Shah seems quite keen given the content of some of his posts) I was referring to your general infidels and how I wouldn't like to see that lot get into a row (pronounced "row" as in "row" not "row" as in row") over such matters.

Anyway, back to my headache...am loathe to call it a hangover. Always felt a hangover should be preceded by some kind of enjoyment in the previous nights drinking.

DAVE wrote:I was referring to your general infidels and how I wouldn't like to see that lot get into a row (pronounced "row" as in "row" not "row" as in row") over such matters.

Right you are DAVE, didn't want you smited (sic?) by a wrathful vengence or anything.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Rowley wrote:It's row as in row the boat, it is my fictional name and as such is and will remain my decision.

No it isn't.  It's row as in

Danny Dyer wrote: you wanna facking row with me you slag

Rowley.  Pronounced Rowley.  It really is quite clear.

However I look, it's clear to see
That I love you more than Jeff Rowley

You're only behind my kids on my love list, Andrés.

You must prefer him to the kid that chinned you.

Rowley wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Rowley wrote:It's row as in row the boat, it is my fictional name and as such is and will remain my decision.

No it isn't.  It's row as in

Danny Dyer wrote: you wanna facking row with me you slag

Rowley.  Pronounced Rowley.  It really is quite clear.

However I look, it's clear to see
That I love you more than Jeff Rowley

You're only behind my kids on my love list, Andrés.

You must prefer him to the kid that chinned you.

I even prefer you to that one.

rick_dagless wrote:

DAVE wrote:I was referring to your general infidels and how I wouldn't like to see that lot get into a row (pronounced "row" as in "row" not "row" as in row") over such matters.

Right you are DAVE, didn't want you smited (sic?) by a wrathful vengence or anything.

Or revenge bummed...is that a thing? I suppose we could always ask Sean

seanmichaels wrote:I once did a bird on a grass verge of an A-road. Al fresco nobbing is overrated.

I did my ex on the bonnet of her car on the moors overlooking Haworth one night. Didn't realize she'd started her period until we saw the car the following morning. Looked like we'd hit a deer....

I fingered a librarian.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I fingered a librarian.

Seriously Tina, you are dining out on that almost as much as Superfly does with caddying for a member of Runrig or whatever it was.

Rowley wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I fingered a librarian.

Seriously Tina, you are dining out on that almost as much as Superfly does with caddying for a member of Runrig or whatever it was.

It's all I've got, Jeff.

You're one nil up on me Tina. I have no amusing or vaguely impressive sex anecdotes and lack the imagination to make any up.

Rowley wrote:You're one nil up on me Tina. I have no amusing or vaguely impressive sex anecdotes and lack the imagination to make any up.

At least you've done it before. That puts you one nil up on Galted.

I'm not sure it does, them Eastern European types will endure all manner of indignations to get a visa.

Rowley wrote:I'm not sure it does, them Eastern European types will endure all manner of indignations to get a visa.

l*l out loud.

Rowley wrote:I'm not sure it does, them Eastern European types will endure all manner of indignations to get a visa.

Come on man, if that's not a gilt edged opportunity to get yourself some material for a story then I don't know what is. If it was Sean, he's be getting so much action they'd have to seal him in a bromide filled glass case

I have just been regaled by one of the older gentlemen in the office, about how on a stag do in Madrid a couple of weeks ago, and he was arrested after rugby tackling a juggling dwarf that he assures me provoked him.

Now that is a story gents...

rick_dagless wrote:I have just been regaled by one of the older gentlemen in the office, about how on a stag do in Madrid a couple of weeks ago, and he was arrested after rugby tackling a juggling dwarf that he assures me provoked him.

Now that is a story gents...

a short story.....

Great work sean

seanmichaels wrote:I once did a bird on a grass verge of an A-road. Al fresco nobbing is overrated.

I once put it in a girl in a doorway of a shop on Mablethorpe seafront. After the third passing car had honked its approval we took matters round the back and I did her next to the bins.

I fingered a librarian.