The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

by **JuliusHMarx** Fri 10 Apr 2015, 10:48 am

First topic message reminder :

Hajduk

by **Pal Joey** Thu 16 Apr 2015, 12:46 pm

I don't have a massive crush on that annoying Aussie presenter on BBC World News - Aaron Heslehurst. Nobody speaks like that.
He's definitely tripping on something the way he gesticulates and carries on like a crazy galoot.

Somebody please give him a hefty slap if you accidentally bump into him.

by **superflyweight** Thu 16 Apr 2015, 12:52 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I have a massive man crush on Jules.

Sounds like a cracking double date is in the offing.

by **Union Cane** Thu 16 Apr 2015, 12:55 pm

The Loaded Dog wrote:I don't have a massive crush on that annoying Aussie presenter on BBC World News - Aaron Heslehurst. Nobody speaks like that.
He's definitely tripping on something the way he gesticulates and carries on like a crazy galoot.

Somebody please give him a hefty slap if you accidentally bump into him.

He's great, he's like a camp Dale Winton.

by Rowley Thu 16 Apr 2015, 12:58 pm

Has everyone else received their invites for Jules' birthday party. I have not received mine yet, am sure this is just an oversight rather than a snub, but is a bit worrying all the same.

by Guest Thu 16 Apr 2015, 12:58 pm

Rowley wrote:Just booked to go to an Evening With Nigel Benn, not that bothered personally, prefered Eubank, but TSMR was a fan and the tickets were on Living Social

Frank Bruno supposedly coming to Keighley at some point for one of these "An audience with..." things. Might be worth going for the fireworks as, given he's agreed to come to Keighley, Frank has clearly lost his mind again!

by Rowley Thu 16 Apr 2015, 1:01 pm

Avoid it Dave, went to one with Bruno a few months ago, he was terrible. The only thing that saved the evening was Johnny Nelson was on with him. He was genuinely very funny, comfortable on the mic and extremely self depricating.

by Guest Thu 16 Apr 2015, 1:01 pm

Rowley wrote:Has everyone else received their invites for Jules' birthday party. I have not received mine yet, am sure this is just an oversight rather than a snub, but is a bit worrying all the same.

I have but my spidersense is tingling, it's the same address as Dipper Brown who has agreed to let me come to his house and watch the Floyd Manny fight (Address is Dipper, 1 Cardiff Street, Cardiff in case you fancy gatecrashing). Either Jules and Dipper are the same person or Jules is playing a cruel trick on me as I believe Dipper's invite to be genuine.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 16 Apr 2015, 1:01 pm

Rowley wrote:Has everyone else received their invites for Jules' birthday party. I have not received mine yet, am sure this is just an oversight rather than a snub, but is a bit worrying all the same.

I got mine ages ago.

A little bit of Brut splashed on the envelope. Lovely little personal touch.

by **Pal Joey** Thu 16 Apr 2015, 1:02 pm

Union Cane wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:I don't have a massive crush on that annoying Aussie presenter on BBC World News - Aaron Heslehurst. Nobody speaks like that.
He's definitely tripping on something the way he gesticulates and carries on like a crazy galoot.

Somebody please give him a hefty slap if you accidentally bump into him.

He's great, he's like a camp Dale Winton.

He's a complete nut. Sort of reminds me of that Richard Quest guy. Has he OD'd yet? They both drive me spare.

by Guest Thu 16 Apr 2015, 1:02 pm

Rowley wrote:Avoid it Dave, went to one with Bruno a few months ago, he was terrible. The only thing that saved the evening was Johnny Nelson was on with him. He was genuinely very funny, comfortable on the mic and extremely self depricating.

Wasn't seriously considering it, but just thought it would be fun to bait Frank and see if he smashed the place up before calling out Wlad

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 16 Apr 2015, 1:03 pm

Rowley wrote:Avoid it Dave, went to one with Bruno a few months ago, he was terrible. The only thing that saved the evening was Johnny Nelson was on with him. He was genuinely very funny, comfortable on the mic and extremely self depricating.

For heavens sake, Jeff. What is the matter with you these days.

by Rowley Thu 16 Apr 2015, 1:07 pm

I have no idea Tina. Think the years of heavy drug abuse have started to catch up with me. Also my gout, which is probably not gout has flared up again, which is a little troubling.

Also one of my friends went for his over 40 health check the other day to be told he has type 2 diabetes. As his lifestyle has been generally healthier than mine over the preceding 20 years I am somewhat troubled as to what I will hear when I finally get the balls up to book mine. (you did ask)

by **seanmichaels** Thu 16 Apr 2015, 1:08 pm

Chips battered sausage and curry sauce. Feel bloody awful now.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 16 Apr 2015, 1:09 pm

Rowley wrote:I have no idea Tina. Think the years of heavy drug abuse have started to catch up with me. Also my gout, which is probably not gout has flared up again, which is a little troubling.

Also one of my friends went for his over 40 health check the other day to be told he has type 2 diabetes. As his lifestyle has been generally healthier than mine over the preceding 20 years I am somewhat troubled as to what I will hear when I finally get the balls up to book mine. (you did ask)

I reckon I'm gonna be written off if I make my over 40 check.

by Guest Thu 16 Apr 2015, 1:10 pm

Rowley wrote:I have no idea Tina. Think the years of heavy drug abuse have started to catch up with me. Also my gout, which is probably not gout has flared up again, which is a little troubling.

Also one of my friends went for his over 40 health check the other day to be told he has type 2 diabetes. As his lifestyle has been generally healthier than mine over the preceding 20 years I am somewhat troubled as to what I will hear when I finally get the balls up to book mine. (you did ask)

Finally got my 40 year service and MOT albeit three years too late. Was told that I had high(ish) blood pressure. I then introduced my wife and kids, the doctor said "Well, that explains it" and told me if I couldn't get shut of them then the alternative was to eat a few more tomatoes. Asked if it would help my hair grow back...the response was very un-physician-like

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 16 Apr 2015, 1:11 pm

Rowley wrote:I have no idea Tina. Think the years of heavy drug abuse have started to catch up with me. Also my gout, which is probably not gout has flared up again, which is a little troubling.

My years of heavy drug abuse just made me start co-ordinating my shirts with my jumpers. Funny how these things affect people differently.

by Guest Thu 16 Apr 2015, 1:14 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Rowley wrote:I have no idea Tina. Think the years of heavy drug abuse have started to catch up with me. Also my gout, which is probably not gout has flared up again, which is a little troubling.

My years of heavy drug abuse just made me start co-ordinating my shirts with my jumpers. Funny how these things affect people differently.

All this talk of drug abuse has made me want to start taking drugs....again

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 16 Apr 2015, 1:15 pm

DAVE667 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Rowley wrote:I have no idea Tina. Think the years of heavy drug abuse have started to catch up with me. Also my gout, which is probably not gout has flared up again, which is a little troubling.

My years of heavy drug abuse just made me start co-ordinating my shirts with my jumpers. Funny how these things affect people differently.

All this talk of drug abuse has made me want to start taking drugs....again

I bet you were smacked off your t*ts at all the BON JOVI concerts you attended?

by **Pal Joey** Thu 16 Apr 2015, 1:16 pm

Rowley wrote:I have no idea Tina. Think the years of heavy drug abuse have started to catch up with me.

Norway! Raleigh?

You don't strike me as the self-abusing type at all Jeff... the way you appreciate library property and all.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 16 Apr 2015, 1:20 pm

The Loaded Dog wrote:the way you appreciate library property and all.

I appreciate library property.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 16 Apr 2015, 1:23 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:the way you appreciate library property and all.

I appreciate library property.

deposit boxes...

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 16 Apr 2015, 1:25 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:the way you appreciate library property and all.

I appreciate library property.

deposit boxes...

I'm not sure if she would have been classified as library 'property'. Just an employee.

by Guest Thu 16 Apr 2015, 1:26 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Rowley wrote:I have no idea Tina. Think the years of heavy drug abuse have started to catch up with me. Also my gout, which is probably not gout has flared up again, which is a little troubling.

My years of heavy drug abuse just made me start co-ordinating my shirts with my jumpers. Funny how these things affect people differently.

All this talk of drug abuse has made me want to start taking drugs....again

I bet you were smacked off your t*ts at all the BON JOVI concerts you attended?

Hey man, you don't NEED drugs when Jon, Richie, Tico and...er....the other bloke are doing their thing. (I'd love to be their bass player, multi millionaire and no fecker knows who he is. Even his wife and kids don't know he's in a band, in fact they don't even notice when he fecks off for six months at a time)

by **superflyweight** Thu 16 Apr 2015, 1:26 pm

seanmichaels wrote:Chips battered my sausage and covered me in curry sauce. Feel bloody awful now.

You cricketers and your silly ways.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 16 Apr 2015, 1:26 pm

FFS. Someone own up

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by Rowley Thu 16 Apr 2015, 1:26 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:the way you appreciate library property and all.

I appreciate library property.

Don't Tina, I have genuinely tried to move on from your flagrant disregard for the sanctity of the library, but the fact you actually seem proud of it is not helping.

by Guest Thu 16 Apr 2015, 1:28 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:the way you appreciate library property and all.

I appreciate library property.

deposit boxes...

Isn't that how you refer to vaginas, sean?

by **seanmichaels** Thu 16 Apr 2015, 1:28 pm

I think I read somewhere recently that libraries are the new public toilets for homosexuals.

by **Pal Joey** Thu 16 Apr 2015, 1:28 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:the way you appreciate library property and all.

I appreciate library property.

Who doesn't? My fingers love turning the pages of 2-page soft covers.

That was a shocking Yorkshire accent wasn't it?
I'll apologise at Jules' party.

by Guest Thu 16 Apr 2015, 1:29 pm

seanmichaels wrote:Having been violently fingered, bummed and paid handsomely for sucking off strangers, I can confirm that libraries are the new public toilets for homosexuals.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 16 Apr 2015, 1:31 pm

DAVE667 wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:the way you appreciate library property and all.

I appreciate library property.

deposit boxes...
Isn't that how you refer to vaginas, sean?

Muff, m1nge, carpet, squirrel, ferret, axe wound, smashed crab, badger, beaver, shane magowan's smile, great dane's jowels, fanny, rug, mouse's ear etc etc.

by Guest Thu 16 Apr 2015, 1:37 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:the way you appreciate library property and all.

I appreciate library property.

deposit boxes...
Isn't that how you refer to vaginas, sean?

Muff, m1nge, carpet, squirrel, ferret, axe wound, smashed crab, badger, beaver, shane magowan's smile, great dane's jowels, fanny, rug, mouse's ear etc etc.

Well now you have another to add to your collection...along with skin mitten

by **Union Cane** Thu 16 Apr 2015, 1:49 pm

seanmichaels wrote:Chips battered sausage and curry sauce. Feel bloody awful now.

Is Chip one of the prefects?

by Guest Thu 16 Apr 2015, 1:52 pm

Union Cane wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:Chips battered sausage and curry sauce. Feel bloody awful now.

Is Chip one of the prefects?

Who's "bloody awful" and why are you feeling him?

by **seanmichaels** Thu 16 Apr 2015, 1:53 pm

no, one was called oggy. used to smoke all the time. we named a wood after him

by **Union Cane** Thu 16 Apr 2015, 1:55 pm

seanmichaels wrote:no, one was called oggy. used to smoke all the time. we named a wood after him

Oggy smoked your wood?

by **seanmichaels** Thu 16 Apr 2015, 1:56 pm

a young michaels:

Spoiler:

by **Union Cane** Thu 16 Apr 2015, 2:25 pm

quote="seanmichaels"]a young michaels:

[spoiler[/spoiler][/quote]

by **seanmichaels** Thu 16 Apr 2015, 2:28 pm

Union Cane wrote:quote="seanmichaels"]a young michaels:

[spoiler[/spoiler]

[/quote]

It was there briefly.

by **Union Cane** Thu 16 Apr 2015, 3:02 pm

Enigmatic as ever.

by kingraf Thu 16 Apr 2015, 3:23 pm

Tickets to Melbourne booked. Then road tripping to Perth. I say road tripping, but I have no idea of its a fifteen minute drive or a fifteen hour drive.

You should have all listened when I said to put a bet on "Giroud to score Arsenal to win" for like five weeks. Tiña could have paid for half his kids university fund. Dave could have started killing high end prostitutes, or call girls as they like to be known. Sean could have done whatever it is sexually repressed people do with money. And Rowley could have... well Geoff could have had his Sciatica and gout which isn't gout sorted.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 16 Apr 2015, 3:41 pm

kingraf wrote:Tickets to Melbourne booked. Then road tripping to Perth. I say road tripping, but I have no idea of its a fifteen minute drive or a fifteen hour drive.

Try 15 days.

by Guest Thu 16 Apr 2015, 3:47 pm

kingraf wrote:Tickets to Melbourne booked. Then road tripping to Perth. I say road tripping, but I have no idea of its a fifteen minute drive or a fifteen hour drive.

You should have all listened when I said to put a bet on "Giroud to score Arsenal to win" for like five weeks. Tiña could have paid for half his kids university fund. Dave could have started killing high end prostitutes, or call girls as they like to be known. Sean could have done whatever it is sexually repressed people do with money. And Rowley could have... well Geoff could have had his Sciatica and gout which isn't gout sorted.

Read something about a bloke who was pictured with a woman who turned out to be an escort. They said an "escort" was basically a prostitute who sleeps with Arabs

by **Union Cane** Thu 16 Apr 2015, 3:55 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
kingraf wrote:Tickets to Melbourne booked. Then road tripping to Perth. I say road tripping, but I have no idea of its a fifteen minute drive or a fifteen hour drive.

Try 15 days.

Perhaps in a Kia...

by **seanmichaels** Thu 16 Apr 2015, 3:56 pm

Dave would love the Australian outback. A good yute, a shovel and he'd be well in business with the backpackers

by **seanmichaels** Thu 16 Apr 2015, 3:59 pm

Union Cane wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
kingraf wrote:Tickets to Melbourne booked. Then road tripping to Perth. I say road tripping, but I have no idea of its a fifteen minute drive or a fifteen hour drive.

Try 15 days.

Perhaps in a Kia...

3,461km, 35 hours driving at 60mph

by **superflyweight** Thu 16 Apr 2015, 4:08 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
Union Cane wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
kingraf wrote:Tickets to Melbourne booked. Then road tripping to Perth. I say road tripping, but I have no idea of its a fifteen minute drive or a fifteen hour drive.

Try 15 days.

Perhaps in a Kia...

3,461km, 35 hours driving at 60mph

Have travelled the Indian Pacific (Sydney to Perth) - took 72 hours (albeit with a couple of decent stops at Adelaide and Kalgoorlie). Adelaide to Perth took around 30-40 of those hours. Wouldn't fancy driving across the Nullarbor Plain. It looks like the face of the moon and hot as all hell. Would probably take the best part of 10 or 12 hours to drive through it.

by **Pal Joey** Thu 16 Apr 2015, 10:09 pm

He's going the wrong way for starters.
3400km into a constant headwind. Much better the other way round. Saves a lot on fuel too. It only takes around 57 hours going the other way.

Not so hot in late autumn winter, supes. In fact, you can almost see the temperatures dropping at the moment. Takes about 13-14 hours but with raf at the wheel... yeah probably only about 9 or 10.

More moon-like up around the Simpson desert, north-western NSW, northern SA. Picked up a rock from there a few years back.
It's probably a meteorite... 5 times the size of a football, weighs "a tonne" and is purple, red and green. Mum uses it as a doorstop at home.
The Nullarbor has has plenty of that low saltbush and blue bush scrub. Sean would love it there.

Still, I'm sure raf will love our wide open spaces. Don't forget to pack your sandwiches and water mate.

by Rowley Fri 17 Apr 2015, 8:48 am

First. Get in. Yes, boo yaa

by **JuliusHMarx** Fri 17 Apr 2015, 8:51 am

Second. Get out. No, boo hoo

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