Scotland Coach

First topic message reminder :

Breaking news; Mark Dodson, SR CEO, announces "We have concluded our search for a head coach and will announce that in coming weeks."

Any Ideas? sounds like its someone still in a job

That's all very impressive. Office jobs will kill you in the end. Like FES and a number of other posters here, I am a lawyer and so make money for the firm whilst my arse is glued to this seat. 8 billable hours a day required, so that's 10 hours a day in the office at least.

Having kids (with potentially another on the way next year - to be confirmed in the next month) changes your outlook a lot and aside from the inconvenience to my family of kicking the bucket, I also don't want to be a fat middle aged disaster.

I get diet food delivered now and my gym membership is so expensive that guilt (if nothing else) pushes me to use it.

I find marriage the ideal way of changing eating habits. If I want junk food and beer in the house, I have to buy it myself. Well that's not going to happen......

As for exercise, I've definitely fallen off that particular wagon since turning 30. I used to run before work every day when in my 20s, and as GC alludes, work 10 hours days behind a screen, and still have energy to go out in the evenings.

I climb the odd munro at the weekends, but tend to do one-off runs and walks these days rather than anything you could describe as regular exercise.

I'm still some way off Chunk though. He's my benchmark.

AsLongAsBut100ofUs wrote:

justified sinner wrote:OK, since this has gone completely off piste, what does everyone make of Bill Lothian's latest fantasy that Embra are going to share Ainslie Park with Spartans?


http://www.scotsman.com/edinburgh-evening-news/football/local-football/edinburgh-rugby-could-share-ground-with-spartans-1-2937106

Actually, reckon that one could have legs, sinner! Edinburgh do need to move somewhere smaller although Ainslie Park could be a little too small - also a bit too far from Stockbridge to expect fES to travel

That's far too far to be travelling on my sedan chair. Plus, as RDW suggests, that's not a neck of the city to be seen in wearing maroon corduroys, which rules out IBD from attending games as well!

I'm pleased that Edinburgh are on the case though - playing at Murrayfield is sorely lacking in atmosphere.

I always feel lucky I don't have a conventional job that allows me to go to the gym or train for events. Doing an office job is so sedentary and unhealthy and juggling it with kids just compounds the problems. It's difficult to make exercise a priority when you have so many other priorities.

George Carlin wrote:That's all very impressive. Office jobs will kill you in the end. Like FES and a number of other posters here, I am a lawyer and so make money for the firm whilst my arse is glued to this seat. 8 billable hours a day required, so that's 10 hours a day in the office at least.

Having kids (with potentially another on the way next year - to be confirmed in the next month) changes your outlook a lot and aside from the inconvenience to my family of kicking the bucket, I also don't want to be a fat middle aged disaster.

I get diet food delivered now and my gym membership is so expensive that guilt (if nothing else) pushes me to use it.

Fantastic news, GC, fingers crossed for you

At the danger of getting back on to rugby, Edinburgh have advertised for an ‘assistant coach’

http://admin.edinburghrugby.org/news/13/05/22/new-asst-coach-opportunity-edinburgh-rugby

Although reading it it looks like the job is to coach amature coaches as opposed to the Edinburgh players, which is a bit strange they are linking it to Edinburgh and working with the head coach…

There must be some Prem 1 coaches that would be suitable for this.

AsLongAsBut100ofUs wrote:

George Carlin wrote:That's all very impressive. Office jobs will kill you in the end. Like FES and a number of other posters here, I am a lawyer and so make money for the firm whilst my arse is glued to this seat. 8 billable hours a day required, so that's 10 hours a day in the office at least.

Having kids (with potentially another on the way next year - to be confirmed in the next month) changes your outlook a lot and aside from the inconvenience to my family of kicking the bucket, I also don't want to be a fat middle aged disaster.

I get diet food delivered now and my gym membership is so expensive that guilt (if nothing else) pushes me to use it.

Fantastic news, GC, fingers crossed for you

Thanks Asbo. If it's another girl, then I will join with LondonTiger in spending my forties tripping over mountains of ladies' shoes left to accumulate like snowdrifts around our house.

RDW_Scotland wrote:At the danger of getting back on to rugby, Edinburgh have advertised for an ‘assistant coach’

http://admin.edinburghrugby.org/news/13/05/22/new-asst-coach-opportunity-edinburgh-rugby

Although reading it it looks like the job is to coach amature coaches as opposed to the Edinburgh players, which is a bit strange they are linking it to Edinburgh and working with the head coach…

There must be some Prem 1 coaches that would be suitable for this.

Apparently there's a post at Warriors too. Was looking for the immortal line "no experience necessary"...

AsLongAsBut100ofUs wrote:

George Carlin wrote:That's all very impressive. Office jobs will kill you in the end. Like FES and a number of other posters here, I am a lawyer and so make money for the firm whilst my arse is glued to this seat. 8 billable hours a day required, so that's 10 hours a day in the office at least.

Having kids (with potentially another on the way next year - to be confirmed in the next month) changes your outlook a lot and aside from the inconvenience to my family of kicking the bucket, I also don't want to be a fat middle aged disaster.

I get diet food delivered now and my gym membership is so expensive that guilt (if nothing else) pushes me to use it.

Fantastic news, GC, fingers crossed for you

Likewise great news and fingers crossed! You need another man in the house, otherwise any hint of democracy at the weekends and you'll never see another rugby match again!! My poor Dad suffered horribly when I went to Uni and left him with my Mum and Sister.

I go away for two days and you lot start blethering even more urine than normal. Shame on you.

Soooooo

What's the latest on the Scotland coach?

Vern Cotter is head coach, ASBO and Radge are going to be in charge of player conditioning, Riskysports is going to be the SRUs new PR man and GC is going provide shoe shopping consultancy services for the Scotland players WAGs......

Player conditioning? Our first meeting will be at McDonalds for a very important calorie intake session.

GC good luck, especially if it's another female! Having 4 older sisters I know all about being heavily outnumbered in the gender department!

funnyExiledScot wrote:

AsLongAsBut100ofUs wrote:

George Carlin wrote:That's all very impressive. Office jobs will kill you in the end. Like FES and a number of other posters here, I am a lawyer and so make money for the firm whilst my arse is glued to this seat. 8 billable hours a day required, so that's 10 hours a day in the office at least.

Having kids (with potentially another on the way next year - to be confirmed in the next month) changes your outlook a lot and aside from the inconvenience to my family of kicking the bucket, I also don't want to be a fat middle aged disaster.

I get diet food delivered now and my gym membership is so expensive that guilt (if nothing else) pushes me to use it.

Fantastic news, GC, fingers crossed for you

Likewise great news and fingers crossed! You need another man in the house, otherwise any hint of democracy at the weekends and you'll never see another rugby match again!! My poor Dad suffered horribly when I went to Uni and left him with my Mum and Sister.

Thanks everyone. I intend to overcome the 'outvoting' problem described by imposing a jovial but stringent dictatorship.

Everyone will wear a Total Recall style collar which will administer Elvis Presley singing 'All Shook Up' loudly through a speaker when any child tries to drink my beer or change weekend plans without my knowledge. Happy happy days.

tigertattie wrote:I go away for two days and you lot start blethering even more urine than normal. Shame on you.

Soooooo

What's the latest on the Scotland coach?

Tattie - if you will track back, you will see that this thread stopped being about what it's described as being about a long time ago. Since then we've covered the difficulties in crossing Edinburgh in a sedan chair, independence, the origin of the word 'omnishambles', Alex Salmond being a fat fall guy, Edinburgh's new chav home, maroon trousers, health issues and finally the difficulties I'm going to have in having any money in the future.

Everything that these boards should be about.

Plus the merits of a "jovial but stringent dictatorship" - which brings us nicely back to Alex Salmond.......

George Carlin wrote:

funnyExiledScot wrote:

AsLongAsBut100ofUs wrote:

George Carlin wrote:That's all very impressive. Office jobs will kill you in the end. Like FES and a number of other posters here, I am a lawyer and so make money for the firm whilst my arse is glued to this seat. 8 billable hours a day required, so that's 10 hours a day in the office at least.

Having kids (with potentially another on the way next year - to be confirmed in the next month) changes your outlook a lot and aside from the inconvenience to my family of kicking the bucket, I also don't want to be a fat middle aged disaster.

I get diet food delivered now and my gym membership is so expensive that guilt (if nothing else) pushes me to use it.

Fantastic news, GC, fingers crossed for you

Likewise great news and fingers crossed! You need another man in the house, otherwise any hint of democracy at the weekends and you'll never see another rugby match again!! My poor Dad suffered horribly when I went to Uni and left him with my Mum and Sister.

Thanks everyone. I intend to overcome the 'outvoting' problem described by imposing a jovial but stringent dictatorship.

Everyone will wear a Total Recall style collar which will administer Elvis Presley singing 'All Shook Up' loudly through a speaker when any child tries to drink my beer or change weekend plans without my knowledge. Happy happy days.

I introduced the concept of the 'Master of the House' which has shown its worth on many occasions (only my vote counts) - the children are all sufficiently on board and quote it regularly when they agree with me

AsLongAsBut100ofUs wrote:

George Carlin wrote:

funnyExiledScot wrote:

AsLongAsBut100ofUs wrote:

George Carlin wrote:That's all very impressive. Office jobs will kill you in the end. Like FES and a number of other posters here, I am a lawyer and so make money for the firm whilst my arse is glued to this seat. 8 billable hours a day required, so that's 10 hours a day in the office at least.

Having kids (with potentially another on the way next year - to be confirmed in the next month) changes your outlook a lot and aside from the inconvenience to my family of kicking the bucket, I also don't want to be a fat middle aged disaster.

I get diet food delivered now and my gym membership is so expensive that guilt (if nothing else) pushes me to use it.

Fantastic news, GC, fingers crossed for you

Likewise great news and fingers crossed! You need another man in the house, otherwise any hint of democracy at the weekends and you'll never see another rugby match again!! My poor Dad suffered horribly when I went to Uni and left him with my Mum and Sister.

Thanks everyone. I intend to overcome the 'outvoting' problem described by imposing a jovial but stringent dictatorship.

Everyone will wear a Total Recall style collar which will administer Elvis Presley singing 'All Shook Up' loudly through a speaker when any child tries to drink my beer or change weekend plans without my knowledge. Happy happy days.

I introduced the concept of the 'Master of the House' which has shown its worth on many occasions (only my vote counts) - the children are all sufficiently on board and quote it regularly when they agree with me

I've tried that. The master of the house loves it but she tends to overuse her influence.

funnyExiledScot wrote:Vern Cotter is head coach, ASBO and Radge are going to be in charge of player conditioning, Riskysports is going to be the SRUs new PR man and GC is going provide shoe shopping consultancy services for the Scotland players WAGs......

My First Press Release

SRU Appoints PR Guru

22 May 2103 - The Scottish Rugby Union (SRU) today annouced the appointment of PR and drinking Game legend, RiskySports to the role of PR and Communication manager. In his role, RiskySports will be responisbile for raising the profile of the game to the general public, working with local and international businessed on sponsorship opportunities and developing a closer relationship with the brewers within Scotland.

His first task will be to identify and plug the recent leaks that have plauged the SRU, making it seem like a laughing stock in world Rugby.

Speaking from his bar stool in Waverly station, RiskySports commented 'It is a great honour to take this position, and I am delighted with the opportunity it has offered me. The SRU is like a sleeping giant, that just needs to be steered in the right direction and the first step is bring a closer tie between reality and percention. I am in a fortunate position to have a core team of experts behind me, who provide a regular input through an electronic forum'

If we’re filling positions in the SRU here I’d happily be the guy that runs on with the kicking tee for 60k a year – pretty sure that’s all that Hodge does right?

I wasn't sure about a position for you RDW. With your "Moderator" duties I didn't want you spread too thin.

I didn't allocate a role for myself either, but someone has to take one for the team and remain on 606v2 to moan about how rubbish everything is!!

funnyExiledScot wrote:I wasn't sure about a position for you RDW. With your "Moderator" duties I didn't want you spread too thin.

I didn't allocate a role for myself either, but someone has to take one for the team and remain on 606v2 to moan about how rubbish everything is!!

FES - you are surely Edinburgh Tramway Project Manager?

Or as he was called on Thomas the Tank Engine, the F...(snip)

Ouch - a fat joke.....

George Carlin wrote:

funnyExiledScot wrote:I wasn't sure about a position for you RDW. With your "Moderator" duties I didn't want you spread too thin.

I didn't allocate a role for myself either, but someone has to take one for the team and remain on 606v2 to moan about how rubbish everything is!!

FES - you are surely Edinburgh Tramway Project Manager?

Or as he was called on Thomas the Tank Engine, the F...(snip)

FES - Facility Engine Scrubber

That would be a pretty cushy job working on those trams!

funnyExiledScot wrote:Ouch - a fat joke.....

Lads, I resign - the SRU is an unreformable shambles ... and the roads don't feicing paint themselves, ye know

This is exactly how I imagined the SRU was run anyway, im shocked that it apparently isn't! :P

AsLongAsBut100ofUs wrote:Lads, I resign - the SRU is an unreformable shambles ... and the roads don't feicing paint themselves, ye know

That is self-evident in Edinburgh!

Sooooo

The trams are a joke
Salmond is a fatty (and incompetent)
The price of beer in the city centre is a joke
Edinburgh are going to ground share with Spartans?
The 606v2 gang are going to take over Scottish rugby (what's my job btw?)
Stockbridge is a hole

Did I cover everything?

Also, did you know Edinburgh only has one Burger King in the city centre? And it's the over priced one in Waverley station. WTF!!!

tigertattie wrote:Sooooo

The trams are a joke
Salmond is a fatty (and incompetent)
The price of beer in the city centre is a joke
Edinburgh are going to ground share with Spartans?
The 606v2 gang are going to take over Scottish rugby (what's my job btw?)
Stockbridge is a hole

Did I cover everything?

Also, did you know Edinburgh only has one Burger King in the city centre? And it's the over priced one in Waverley station. WTF!!!

I dispute that! All the finest people live in Stockbridge!

As for a lack of Burger King - there's a GBK on George Street if you have a kidney to sell......

GC- congrats. As for being Lord and Master you seem to forget the quaint old Weegie tradition whereby at the wedding breakfast while seated at the top table the newly espoused female will place her Dolcis handbag on her Lord and Master's lap and gently purr,
" Put your balls in here, for the now. I'll give you them back when you need them."

jimbopip wrote:GC- congrats. As for being Lord and Master you seem to forget the quaint old Weegie tradition whereby at the wedding breakfast while seated at the top table the newly espoused female will place her Dolcis handbag on her Lord and Master's lap and gently purr,
" Put your balls in here, for the now. I'll give you them back when you need them."

Dolcis handbag! Not unless they stock those in TX MAXX!

ASBO – good effort getting the Tweet from Stuart Hogg, and happy birthday to the wee man!

Thanks buddy - he may be only 20, but so full of respect that he took the time to send it

What did he Tweet??

He didn't happen to express a desire to switch sides and join Edinburgh next season by any chance did he.....

Yeah I can see Hogg becoming a Mossy – like role model in his career. Such a talent yet very humble and a nice chap all round.

Completel opposite of Armitage!

RDW_Scotland wrote:Yeah I can see Hogg becoming a Mossy – like role model in his career. Such a talent yet very humble and a nice chap all round.

Completel opposite of Armitage!

That's only one of the reasons why one of them is on the Lions tour.
And the other one isn't...

Yeh, I can't see Gatland and Farrell warming to Armitage particularly. Such a shame, because I remember him breaking through into the England team and he was such a bright attacking talent in an otherwise grim England side.

Hopefully Hogg can keep himself grounded. Vern Cotter (or whoever the next Scotland coach will be) has a real talent to nurture there, and you suspect this won't be Hogg's only Lions tour.

Hogg is something else considering his age and how much time he has to develop.

If he keeps himself grounded like you say I think its only going to be injury or controversy that stops Hogg from seeing at least a couple lions tours!

funnyExiledScot wrote:What did he Tweet??

He didn't happen to express a desire to switch sides and join Edinburgh next season by any chance did he.....

He just wished Finn happy 6th birthday and suggested I spoil him! Great man

Have to say looking on Facebook and Twitter Hogg seems to be having the time of his life just now – he’s going to come back a new man with so much confidence, which can only be good for Glasgow and Scotland.

Let’s just hope he doesn’t do a Denton and suddenly think he’s the dogs baws and stop doing the things that got him there in the first place…

I think on that last point it helps that he plays with Glasgow. I can't see DTH or Maitland allowing Hogg to struck around the place, both are equally good (if not better at this stage) players. Hogg isn't the star of the show at Glasgow (or Scotland) by any means.

Denton meanwhile clearly sees himself as the big fish in that Edinburgh pack. He shouldn't. I'd trade 5 Denton's for Ross Rennie, and frankly based on his performances last season, he's lucky Talei is leaving, otherwise he might not be making the 1st XV next season. A scandal considering his talent. The emergence of Ryan Wilson and the comeback from Johnnie Beattie are going to need to keep him honest. With Kelly Brown at 6 he's only competing for that number 8 jersey, and right now he's 3rd choice.

SA training squad named (final squad for the tournament to be named 1st of June)

Forwards: Tendai Mtawarira, Jannie du Plessis, Wiehahn Herbst (Sharks), Trevor Nyakane, Coenie Oosthuizen, Adriaan Strauss (Cheetahs), Bismarck du Plessis (Sharks), Chiliboy Ralepelle (Bulls), Eben Etzebeth (Stormers), Flip van der Merwe, Juandre Kruger (Bulls), Pieter-Steph du Toit (Sharks), Siya Kolisi (Stormers), Marcell Coetzee, Willem Alberts (Sharks), Arno Botha (Bulls), Lappies Labuschagne (Cheetahs), Pierre Spies (Bulls), Ryan Kankowski (Sharks).

Backs: Jano Vermaak, Francois Hougaard, Morne Steyn (Bulls), Pat Lambie (Sharks), Demetri Catrakilis (Southern Kings), Elton Jantjies, Jean de Villiers, Juan de Jongh (Stormers), Jan Serfontein (Bulls), Robert Ebersohn (Cheetahs), JJ Engelbrecht (Bulls), Bryan Habana (Stormers), Lwazi Mvovo (Sharks), Raymond Rhule (Cheetahs), Lionel Mapoe, Bjorn Basson (Bulls), Gio Aplon (Stormers), Zane Kirchner (Bulls), Willie le Roux (Cheetahs).

Read more: http://www.3news.co.nz/No-Pietersen-Steyn-for-Springboks-June-internationals/tabid/415/articleID/298813/Default.aspx#ixzz2U6wXycsi

I've not watched much Super XV - who have been the standouts that we wouldn't other know about?

Biltong - what's your thoughts on this one? You're normally hovering about somewhere!

Me neither, was hoping someone would enlighten me!

From that list the players that worry me are du Plessis (hooker), Etzebeth, Coetzee and Alberts in the pack, and Hougaard, Lambie, de Jongh and Aplon in the backs.

There's a fair few on that list, particularly the backs, I don't know about though.

Hopefully Morne Steyn will be at 10.....

Pat_Mustard wrote:SA training squad named (final squad for the tournament to be named 1st of June)

Forwards: Tendai Mtawarira, Jannie du Plessis, Wiehahn Herbst (Sharks), Trevor Nyakane, Coenie Oosthuizen, Adriaan Strauss (Cheetahs), Bismarck du Plessis (Sharks), Chiliboy Ralepelle (Bulls), Eben Etzebeth (Stormers), Flip van der Merwe, Juandre Kruger (Bulls), Pieter-Steph du Toit (Sharks), Siya Kolisi (Stormers), Marcell Coetzee, Willem Alberts (Sharks), Arno Botha (Bulls), Lappies Labuschagne (Cheetahs), Pierre Spies (Bulls), Ryan Kankowski (Sharks).

Backs: Jano Vermaak, Francois Hougaard, Morne Steyn (Bulls), Pat Lambie (Sharks), Demetri Catrakilis (Southern Kings), Elton Jantjies, Jean de Villiers, Juan de Jongh (Stormers), Jan Serfontein (Bulls), Robert Ebersohn (Cheetahs), JJ Engelbrecht (Bulls), Bryan Habana (Stormers), Lwazi Mvovo (Sharks), Raymond Rhule (Cheetahs), Lionel Mapoe, Bjorn Basson (Bulls), Gio Aplon (Stormers), Zane Kirchner (Bulls), Willie le Roux (Cheetahs).

Read more: http://www.3news.co.nz/No-Pietersen-Steyn-for-Springboks-June-internationals/tabid/415/articleID/298813/Default.aspx#ixzz2U6wXycsi

Surely worth starting a Quadrangular Tournament thread in its own right, Pat/Mods?

Well volunteered GC!

Coenie Oosthuizen, Lappies Labuschaghne and Willie Le Roux have all been tearing it up for the Cheetahs, although surprised that Lodewyk de Jager didn't make it to the team... He's only young though and may be off with the Baby Boks instead...