The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

First topic message reminder :

Hajduk

Third. Stay where you are. Boo-Boo Bear.

Rubbish on here today

Where the devil is everyone?  Tina, Sean, Dave and Rick all posted missing.  It's like a really sh1t version of The Hangover - and I only thought The Hangover was ok.  

Got to fear for any librarians who moonlight as prostitutes if Tina and Dave have hooked up.  Finger-banged by a man in a crap jumper at your place of work, followed by dismemberment and being dumped in a canal.

Librarians have it tough enough Super, between cuts, closures and a lack of job security the last thing they need is to be acosted by a borderline sex pest in an Alan Partridge sweater and the most disproportionately angry man in the world in a WHITESNAKE T shirt.

Do you think there will ever be a Kindle library?

Rowley wrote:Librarians have it tough enough Super, between cuts, closures and a lack of job security the last thing they need is to be acosted by a borderline sex pest in an Alan Partridge sweater and the most disproportionately angry man in the world in a WHITESNAKE T shirt.

Not to mention bearded men with gout enquiring about an obscure Joe Jeanette biography.

Ironic that I've been to the local library this morning. The toddler reading group my daughter goes to had a nature walk today. My wife told me it wouldn't take long so I decided to join in before I started work. They decided at the last minute to go on a longer walk because the weather's nice today and as a consequence, I've had to jog back to my car sweating profusely whilst a number of concerned Mums wonder why I'm beating a hasty retreat through the local park.

Largely unfrequented here today.

It's a nice day and most of the folk on here are bone idle layabouts who are unemployed, "agile working" (therefore in the garden with a cuppa) or like Rowley, taking their 35th smoke break of the day

superflyweight wrote:

Rowley wrote:Librarians have it tough enough Super, between cuts, closures and a lack of job security the last thing they need is to be acosted by a borderline sex pest in an Alan Partridge sweater and the most disproportionately angry man in the world in a WHITESNAKE T shirt.

Not to mention bearded men with gout enquiring about an obscure Joe Jeanette biography.  

Ha, I've already got an obscure Joe Jeanette biography. In your face superfly, that one has backfired on you and then some.

Is there a well known mainstream Joe Jeanette biography then?

Think there is only one to be honest Union.

Adam D wrote:Do you think there will ever be a Kindle library?

Maybe they might build ones with small white cubicles where people can flick away. Sort of an Orwellian type set up with no eye contact allowed.

There kind of is one, believe you can hire E books in some of the upmarket cosmopolitan libraries already and think there is a subscription library you can join through Amazon.

What a horrible thought.  Evenoon TLD and afternoon all else

Union Cane wrote:Is there a well known mainstream Joe Jeanette biography then?

No Ordinary Joe.

superflyweight wrote:

Union Cane wrote:Is there a well known mainstream Joe Jeanette biography then?

No Ordinary Joe.

Joe Jeanette not Joe Jaundiced

ShahenshahG wrote:What a horrible thought.  Evenoon TLD and afternoon all else

Good afternoon Shah. Any big plans for the weekend?

I've got this engagement party tomorrow night... should be fun. A good mate is tying the knot for the second time soon. I can't remember the last time I went to one. Must have been some time in the mid 90s but I'd have to really concentrate to remember the exact date... and who it was that was about to get married.

I've got to go to my brother-in-law's 40th birthday party tomorrow night. No amount of bitching about it is getting me out of going.

Haven't decided whether to get offensively drunk or to drive and to stand in the corner all night looking miserable.

I might do both.

Just take it as it comes and try to enjoy yourself, mate.

I've known some of these folk for a long time and we all get on so well... so laid back and full of laughs. Of course there's going to be a bit of "what are you doing now" sort of thing. I'm taking the Russian bird there - should be a real eye opener for her... and for them too. She sounds pretty excited though.

superflyweight wrote:I've got to go to my brother-in-law's 40th birthday party tomorrow night.  No amount of bitching about it is getting me out of going.  

Haven't decided whether to get offensively drunk or to drive and to stand in the corner all night looking miserable.  

I might do both.

It's my 5th Wedding anniversary today, but I'm working late, can't take time off and none of the miserable c*nts I work with will swap shifts. Can't take a flier as Supervison are crafty b*stards and I haven't quite figured out how to camp the office phone onto my mobile so I can pretend I'm at work when I'm really at home snuggled up with Mrs667, I'm essentially covering the West Yorkshire division single handedly and the whole thing might just go t!ts up. If they think I'm driving out to Pontefract at short notice they can go bollox.

Having said that, it's the same situation as last night and that went off without a hitch.

Working at HSBC tommorow. Early start early finish then I'll sleep until the night and wake up for the boxing. I had a challenge burger last week which consists of half a pound of beef two chicken fillets chicken donner lamb donner and a wholly unnecessary bit of lettuce. I finished it and my friend didn't so he's challenged me to another one. Thank god for the hunger inducing powers of weed.

ShahenshahG wrote:Working at HSBC tommorow. Early start early finish then I'll sleep until the night and wake up for the boxing. I had a challenge burger last week which consists of half a pound of beef two chicken fillets chicken donner lamb donner and a wholly unnecessary bit of lettuce. I finished it and my friend didn't so he's challenged me to another one. Thank god for the hunger inducing powers of weed.

I'll keep an ear out for reports of hostage situations and random beheadings

Congratulations 667!  

No doubt you'll find some quality time to snuggle up with Mrs667 over the weekend if you aren't working.

I think I'm on the verge of something serious with VTRP.
Funny thing is we are meeting not far (50m) from where my former wife lived just north of the harbour bridge... near Luna Park. The lights and screams from that place always kept me awake... no wonder the marriage failed!

If SHE'S SHINING A LIGHT IN YOUR FACE AND SCREAMING AT YOU, YOU DID THE RIGHT THING LEAVING HER!

So glad I left her when I did.
Always a chance we could bump into each other tomorrow evening just after 6pm. Or worse still - the ex mother in law.

The new one suggested we meet one stop earlier (Milsons Pt is further way from the party) when it would have been easier to go one stop further (Nth Sydney) and then have a very short walk to the party... but down some slippery moss covered steps which would be more of a challenge with her high heels.

However, I said it was a good idea to go for a more picturesque walk along the foreshore at Lavender Bay beforehand along the flatter but longer route from Milsons Pt.

Is Lavender Bay a secret rendezvous point for homosexuals?

superflyweight wrote:Is Lavender Bay a secret rendezvous point for homosexuals?

Sean would know

superflyweight wrote:Is Lavender Bay a secret rendezvous point for homosexuals?

I wouldn't know... but a few heroin addicted (and now dead) artists used to live around there.
Homos usually meet at The Wall in Paddington or on Oxford St, which are both on the opposite side if you are interested in that sort of thing.

ha... just watching a history doco on Tsar Nicholas.
Shows him kissing a very long line of men (at least 10 or 12) who are queued up in an orderly fashion awaiting their turn.

Don't know about you guys but this idea of certain Eastern/Southern Europeans doing this sort of thing seems very awkward to me. I'd rather stick my tongue in a granny's mouth and give her her tonsils a quick brush over and a wink afterwards.

The Loaded Dog wrote:ha... just watching a history doco on Tsar Nicholas.
Shows him kissing a very long line of men (at least 10 or 12) who are queued up in an orderly fashion awaiting their turn.

Don't know about you guys but this idea of certain Eastern/Southern Europeans doing this sort of thing seems very awkward to me. I'd rather stick my tongue in a granny's mouth and give her her tonsils a quick brush over and a wink afterwards.

There used to be a Queen who insisted that visiting dignitaries performed oral sex on her by way of greeting

Wow... was that the Angolan one? Queen Nzinga?
Think she also used to enjoy doing it with cripples and then kill them in the morning.

Spoiler:

She makes Braveheart look like an amateur.

The Loaded Dog wrote:Wow... was that the Angolan one? Queen Nzinga?
Think she also used to enjoy doing it with cripples and then kill them in the morning.

Spoiler:

She makes Braveheart look like an amateur.

Sean obviously got the idea from her.....are we still using the term "cripple" to describe a person with a handicap, though?

DAVE667 wrote:

The Loaded Dog wrote:Wow... was that the Angolan one? Queen Nzinga?
Think she also used to enjoy doing it with cripples and then kill them in the morning.

Spoiler:

She makes Braveheart look like an amateur.

Sean obviously got the idea from her.....are we still using the term "cripple" to describe a person with a handicap, though?

Dad calls them Ikea pikies which didn't amuse my sister in the slightest

Handicap?

Union Cane wrote:Handicap?

Disability? Guaranteed job interview?

Went to Wisley yesterday and there was an antique tractor and lawn mower display in case you're interested Sean.

My wife and I go a couple of times a month (to Wisley that is, the clue is in the word wife if you were thinking of the other) so as per rules we must take care not to meet. I shall endeavour to wear a disguise so you don't know it's me just in case.

Any good rest stops you can recommend for the road trip LD? I can speak the language, obviously so I don't need to beat the touristy path. Looking very forward to it. Given the simultaneous Xenophobia and ethnic cleansing zulu people are trying to initiate, it might double up as a good time to pick up my political asylum papers. If I make it till then off course

This the latest in my series of impressions of mammals interacting with arthropods.   I call it "Part 5: a miserly Yorkshireman interacting with an arthropod whilst loitering between the rear door of the pub and the bins to avoid his round".

I hope you like it.

Arthropod:         krrrrrit-krrrrrit                             krrrrrit-krrrrrit .

Jeff: You are beneath me.       I won't say "literally" even though it would be correct in this case as I am not a c*nt.

(squish)

kingraf wrote:Any good rest stops you can recommend for the road trip LD? I can speak the language, obviously so I don't need to beat the touristy path. Looking very forward to it. Given the simultaneous Xenophobia and ethnic cleansing zulu people are trying to initiate, it might double up as a good time to pick up my political asylum papers. If I make it till then off course

I saw some of the footage from Durban and Germiston... is that near where you were?
Yeah, it might be a good idea to get your application for residency papers together.

-Melbourne to Adelaide
730km (via Ballarat... beautiful country town)
1000km (via Great Ocean Road... some stunning scenery too. Recommend this way if you have the time)

-Adelaide to Port Augusta 310km... via Port Pirie... (drive through but maybe not worth getting out)

Across the Nullarbor - assuming you are going the more direct route and not via Port Lincoln.
-Port Augusta (numbers = distance from here)
-Kimba 150 (stretch legs... have a slash)
-Kyancutta 245 or Wudinna 260  or Minnipa 295 (alternate for above)
-Poochera 330 (turn off for Streaky Bay)
-Streaky Bay 390 (a slight diversion for more scenic road along coast)
-Ceduna 500
-Yalata 700 (might be closed?)
-Nullarbor Roadhouse 800
-Border Village 980 (State border check... watch out for cops/random breathalyser)
-Mundrabilla 1060 (keep going...)
-Madura 1170 (keep going...)
-Cocklebiddy 1265 (maybe stop here just for the name)
-Caiguna 1330 (keep going...)
-Balladonia 1480 (keep going...)
-Norseman 1700 (end of Nullarbor Plains... and 3000km from Melbourne by road)
-Widgiemooltha 1790 (stop here just for the name... actually no... just keep going)
-Kalgoorlie 1890 (take it easy here... there can be some rough folk looking for trouble in the pubs!)
-Southern Cross 2115
-Northam 2385
-Perth 2480 (3790km all up)... you'll either love or hate this place!

When will you be here?

No, nothing near where I live, yet. Employed people and students tend to have better things to do than chasing people they've never met out of the city. It's all a little scary though. Zulu people have a history of being incredibly violent, and don't mind the odd dollop of ethnic cleansing. My mom said it feels like that crazy time in the 90s when Zulu people used to attack and kill people in trains. So many people died from that. This is a figurative drop in the ocean compared to those days. Luckily, these things rarely to never enter the metropolises. Just the urban communities and inner cities. Apparently, yesterday Zulus in Soweto were telling other native Africans to go back to their homes as well, and they've been doing the same to Chinese and Indians. It all feels like it's building to a civil war. To be fair, there's an element of truth to what they are saying. Think foreigners make up about 16% of the population. Most of them unidentified. Like all foreigners, they take up a lot of low level jobs. But unlike, say England or Aus, black South Africans haven't been able to take secondary and Tertiary level jobs - primarily as a result of the legacy of apartheid, both socially and mentally. My grandmother lives with a girl who is about 16. She spent about two or three years not going to school, because the economics didn't allow. She's gone back now, but that's only because my parents pay for education. Anyway, this means that black South Africans are always fighting for low level jobs with the foreigners and it's rankled that people without the necessary papers are taking them. With that said, only seven foreigners have died due to xenophobia, while in that time period over 1000 people would have been murdered... so perspective is needed.

Cheers. Propping up in June, till the beginning of July. Two week holiday. My mate's gonna see his family in both states and I'm hopping along as a sort of dry run.

When I went on a cricket tour to South Africa I found Durban very intimidating. Stayed near the CBD for a night but we're moved due to safety concerns. This was 1998.

Up the Villa, morning all

Hibbz wrote:Went to Wisley yesterday and there was an antique tractor and lawn mower display in case you're interested Sean.

My wife and I go a couple of times a month (to Wisley that is, the clue is in the word wife if you were thinking of the other) so as per rules we must take care not to meet. I shall endeavour to wear a disguise so you don't know it's me just in case.

Love sacks. Fancied wisley yesterday but missus insisted we went to Kew. Annoying because a RHS member and Kew cost £16.50 plus £4.50 for have a sausage roll. It was the best (half) sausage roll I have ever had though.

Morning all, everyone have an acceptable weekend?

Not bad. Had our first league game on Saturday at the club. 3rd XI fixture so got them set up and watched till 5ish. Quite pleased as I had fallen out with the committee over the potential of one of our youngsters I rate highly. He smashed 64 out of 190 and outscored the half of the side made up of regulars 1st/2nd XI players so there was a fair bit of egg on face post game.

Some lad from Nantwich just broke a world record in cricket, knocking 350 ish of 160 balls the other day...

yeah saw that. impressive regardless of opp.

rick_dagless wrote:Morning all, everyone have an acceptable weekend?

acceptable, it was awesome. Got the record I wanted on record store day, the TSMR was out all day Saturday so got to slob about watching films and football and Villa beat the horrible scousers yesterday to secure an FA cup final place. Just about perfect.

rick_dagless wrote:Morning all, everyone have an acceptable weekend?

Acceptable, but the last few weeks and especially the last 10 days or so, I've been suffering badly from insomnia - wake up at 4:30 or 5:30 and then can't get back to sleep. It's starting to be a bit of a problem.